'AITA for allowing my wife to kick my mom out of our wedding over her hair?'
"AITA for allowing my wife to kick my mom out of our wedding over her hair?"
I got married recently and it was a great night, but I know it was a lot of stress for my wife leading up to it as she wanted everything to be perfect.
The day-of she told me she was very upset over my mom's hair. So my mom had (I suck at describing, but I'll try) her hair half up and half down, and the piece that was in the ponytail had pearls in it, and then some cascading down her hair. She told me she felt it was a bridal hairstyle and that pearls are a traditionally bridal thing. She felt it was inappropriate.
To be totally honest I have no idea about this stuff, but took her lead. We confronted my mom and asked her to take it out. She refused and called my wife narcissistic. My wife began to get emotional and I asked what she wanted to do. She said she wanted her to take it out or leave, so I gave my mom that option.
She said it was way too much work to just take it out after an hour and she would rather leave and go somewhere nice with her husband where she could keep it in.
She left with her husband muttering about us, and we got a lot of hate from a lot of people calling us as*holes and selfish, but my wife strongly feels that it was done on purpose.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
bureaucratic_drift said:
YTA - bridezilla much? This is ridiculously controlling. Congrats on ruining a relationship over nothing; mom's assessment of your wife as 'narcissistic' is probably correct.
SienteElBern said:
YTA. An elaborate hairstyle for sure, but if she wasn't wearing white or a bridal style dress, I see 0 reason this would clash with the bride.
NighthawkUnicorn said:
YTA and so is wife I'm afraid...it's just a hairstyle, it won't be noticed in pictures. If your mom was also wearing a wedding dress then it would be understandable, but it was just her hair.
Pearls aren't just bridal, they're also the birthstone for June, and popular amongst many people as they're beautiful. It sounds like your mom's hair was amazing and your wife was incredibly jealous.
usernamesarehard723 said:
YTA. Your poor mother… she probably just wanted to look pretty for your wedding and she got kicked out? Your wife shouldn’t have threatened to kick her out and you should have defended your mother.
LRGinCharge said:
YTA but mostly your wife. Was your mom wearing a big white dress?? I'm guessing not, so no one was going to confuse her for the bride. I am a woman who is married, and never have I heard anything about pearls in the hair only being for the bride. It is crazy that your wife would make such a scene over something like that. It sounds like she and your mom may have some deeper issues.
The fact that your mother pretends not to speak English to avoid conversing with your wife should tell you a lot. She's actively trying to avoid situations where she has to interact with your wife because your wife is probably a major AH to her. Everyone dresses up fancy and does fancy hairstyles for weddings.
Your wife is unhinged for believing that your mother stole her attention so much that she would force both of you to ruin your own wedding. You really should reach out to your mother and apologise, but maybe it's best that you visit your mother without your wife going forward.
She just doesn't want to speak English in her house
Her house her rules. We have the same in our home - we only speak in Hindi to help with teaching our children our mother tongue.
Of course she can make rules but in the real world choices have consequences. She will never be close to her son since she chooses to snub the woman he loves