Man throws a fit when he can't bring his 'destructive' dog to cousin's wedding. AITA?
"AITA for stating no pets at my wedding?"
ecstatic_narwhals
I'm getting married next year, in an outdoorsy nature reserve in some woods with a barn. Because it's in a nature reserve, the venue let us know that we couldn't have dogs at our wedding, unless it was very specifically OUR dog who they met before to check they would be well-behaved, would stay on the lead the whole time, etc.
Our dog is a rescue and actually still a little nervy around new people so we decided it was best if she stayed home with a sitter and we just had a dog-free wedding. We sent out save the dates last week and a couple days ago I got a message from my cousin asking if we'd forgotten to put his dog's name on the invite.
The thing is, his dog is not at ALL trained. He jumps up at people, barks and whines constantly if he's not getting attention, has extreme separation anxiety (to the point where they can't even both go to the bathroom at the same time or he will destroy furniture), has been known to nip when he gets excited and is generally just not well-behaved.
This is completely my cousin's fault for getting a high-energy breed and then not doing any training with him, but my point is that if I were to invite ANY dog, this is the last one I'd choose because his behaviour is not suited to a group event where it will be loud and stressful for the dog.
I replied and explained we couldn't have dogs, unfortunately. At this point he kicked off and asked if I was expecting him to pay for a new suit, travel, hotel etc AND now a weekend at a kennels, and if his dog wasn't invited he wasn't going to come, because his dog's separation anxiety means he cannot be left with anyone else.
I was pretty p*ssed off but replied and said I totally understand that travelling here would be an expense for him and if the extra money needed for a sitter/kennels meant he couldn't come, I was sad he won't make it but understand and it would be great to catch up some other time. He never replied and I left it.
I really didn't think I'd done anything wrong, to be honest, but now I'm being hassled by multiple members of my family who are telling me I'm being a stubborn a**hole for not making an exception for this one dog.
My mom's argument is that if we're not taking our dog, my cousin's dog can be there instead, and that I'm causing a huge family row because we're being "bridezilla-y". Sometimes I can be a bit clueless and will definitely apologise if I am in the wrong. So, reddit, am I the a**hole?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
EbonyDoe
NTA it's a VENUE rule not yours. Even if it wasn't a rule it's YOUR weddin and YOUR choice. Too bad your cousin can't come but no reason to ruin your day or loose your venue over an untrained, ill behaved dog (and this is coming from a HUGE animal lover).
Congrats on the wedding. Unrelated but this was sooo not where I thought this was gonna end up going.
maplestriker
I also love my dog very much, but even if this was a perfectly well behaved dog, I'm with the boomers on this one. Dogs shouldnt go everywhere with you. If you love your dog you will train it. It's not OPs fault that the cousin is a shitty owner.
BusAlternative1827
I can't think of a place my high energy dog would enjoy less than a wedding. And I know I wouldn't be able to enjoy a wedding with my dog.
The OP responded here:
ecstatic_narwhals
This was my thinking exactly and tbh I was shocked he would even want to bring his dog in the first place. Like, they'd have to spend large portions of time sitting still, not allowed to run around, lots of loud music etc. Just a dog's worst day out, surely.
divamentalis
Now brides are having to stipulate no dogs at their wedding? What next? In any case, apart from the bride's wishes, which should be paramount, the venue does not allow dogs. NTA.
Future_Direction5174
NTA. And who on earth brings pets to a wedding? Service dogs - ok. But “just a pet”?
Moose-Live
Maybe it's a cultural thing but the idea of having to tell people not to bring their dog to a wedding is quite astounding to me. No, NTA.