Open bar leads to 'drunken stupidity' and uninsured damages at wedding; AITA?
Expecting guests to purchase their own drinks at a wedding is typically a faux pas, but what happens if it'd be the only way you can avoid watching all your friends blackout and hook up with each other in the closets?
So, when a conflicted dad decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about whether or not he's wrong to refuse to help cover the damages of his daughter's wedding open bar, people were eager to judge.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for not paying for leaving my daughter and son-in-law on the hook for all the damage their guests caused because of the open bar?
My daughter recently got married. I helped with the expenses. When we started hashing out the costs for the reception I said that I would pay for two bottles of wine per table but they should have a cash bar.
My daughter said that was tacky and made her look cheap. So I asked her what she wanted instead. She said open bar. So I did the math at 200 guests and I figured 12 drinks each.
I gave her enough extra money to purchase that much and told her I did not want to rent the hall. I would write her a check for the costs but I didn't want my name on any contracts. My wife said I was being a d*ck but ultimately agreed with me just giving them money and not getting involved.
The reception went about like I expected. Inebriated sex in the coat room. The insurance didn't cover intentional damage. And there was one DUI that thankfully was stopped before he got to public roads but not before he damaged multiple cars in the parking lot.
That also caused several altercations that involved the police. All in all your average drunken stupidity. The damages to the hall and other stuff was actually several times more than my cost for the open bar. My daughter and son-in-law ended up having to use a good chunk of their wedding gift money to pay.
I feel like an as*hole for not insisting that they limit drinking. And they are calling me an a*shole for making them use money they had planned on their honeymoon and setting up their new home.
Of course, the jury of internet strangers was ready to weigh in on this mess. Here's what people had to say:
JeepersCreepers74 said:
NTA. It was their wedding. The open bar was their decision. Their friends caused the damage. How should any of this fall to you, either financially or otherwise?
caryn1477 said:
Seriously?? NTA. An open bar doesn't automatically lead to issues, I had one at my wedding and it was just fine. It's not your fault that apparently her ADULT friends can't drink responsibly.
ImpossibleHand5086 said:
NTA: So instead of going after their frie d who caused the damage, they believe you should pay for it. The entitlement is strong in those two.
[deleted] said:
NTA. If their guests couldn’t control themselves then it’s on them/the guests. But to be fair. Cash bars are tacky...
gavrielkay said:
NTA. They should extract the money from the guests who couldn't handle their liquor.