'My MIL tried to outshine me at my own wedding. My bridesmaids had a different idea.'

"My MIL tried to outshine me at my own wedding — but my bridesmaids had a different idea."

So, I, (28F) just got married to my husband "Mark" (30M)(fake names duh) last month. It was the best day of our lives but getting there felt like one of those annoying boss battles where the boss is my MIL

From the moment we got engaged, MIL decided she was the going to play wedding planner. She started calling vendors “on our behalf,” posting on Facebook about “her big day,” and referring to it as her son’s special moment — as if I was just a guest of honor.(¬_¬")💢 She tried to override every decision:

I wanted sage green and gold. She wanted royal blue and silver “because it pops in photos.”

I picked an indie band. She wanted a string quartet “Like a fairy tale”

I wanted a short and sweet ceremony. She wanted a fairy tale wedding because it apparently made my husband look cheap if I didn't have one

But the real chaos came on the wedding day. She arrived wearing — I kid you not — a floor-length, cream-colored gown covered in sparkles. Not fully white, but close enough that people actually asked if she was the bride.

I didn’t even have time to react because my maid of honor (aka my bestie and my Knight in shining armor) took one look at her, put down the chocolate she was eating, and said, “Nope. Not today" and within seconds, my bridesmaids formed a quiet but terrifying girl gang and politely (absolutely not politely) escorted MIL to the parking lot.

They told her she had two options: 1.) Change into the backup dress they brought because they suspected that she might have tried to pull something like this

2.) Or security would be informed that there was an uninvited extra bride trying to sneak in.

It took her ten minutes, a lot of dramatic sighing, and one phone call to her precious Marky about “Your wife’s friends are bullying me!” before she finally changed. The bridesmaids came back victorious, like they’d just won a war. I swear they should’ve walked in to “Eye of the Tiger.”

The rest of the wedding actually went beautifully — except when MIL hijacked the mic during the speeches to deliver a ten-minute speech that's titled “Raising the Man Who Made This Day Possible.”

At this point, Mark and I just exchanged “yep, that tracks” looks and laughed it off. But honestly, every time I see the photos, I can still hear her voice saying, “I'm not losing my son. I will always be his first priority" spoiler alert! 🚨 she's not.

Now she’s pretending nothing happened and keeps asking to “approve” which wedding photos we post online. I’m one cream-colored dress away from losing it. So, any advice for setting boundaries with a mother-in-law who treats every milestone like a personal spotlight?

This is what people had to say to OP:

BlueberryOk3969 said:

Agree with your husband that he deals with the nonsense and back you up

SweetBekki said:

Wait til you have kids. I probably won't let the MIL know until they invite her to lunch at their place and finds out that it's actually their baby shower.

BusinessPublic2577 said:

You and tour husband need to have a serious conversation about his mother. As a team, you will need to agree on some boundaries. Think of scenarios where she will be extra and what you as a couple will do about them.

You will need to create your personal boundaries and what you will do when they are crossed. You need to tell your husband what these are so he can support you. You will have to suspend people pleasing tendencies. That may be your biggest challenge.

Beautiful_Truth4419 said:

So my advice…. Live your lives as you planned. NEVER EVER tell her anything of importance before anyone else. She finds out when the world finds out. Control your actions and ALWAYS have a back up plan. In other words never give her a chance to spoil anything.

Me I’d go no contact and if your husband wants to see her he can. He needs to put his foot down and ensure he never tells her anything either. Good luck!!!

EasyPatience1465 said:

Did you get away with any changes you tried to make or were you able to have the wedding the way you wanted it?

OP responded:

Don't worry I didn't let any major change happen but I had to compromise some things, so it won't cause too much drama. Like the flowers and the songs. I mixed some of MIL's suggested songs with my original ones and the flowers were a mix of my favorites and the ones MIL wanted