Parents 'destroy' daughter's dream wedding plan; tell her to pay for the one they want.
Weddings are expensive. Especially when you have a big family with lots of expectations about 'how' to have a wedding.
u/Relevant-Ostrich-352 is having an expensive wedding at her parent's request and thinks they should pay for it. They think otherwise. So she went to Reddit to ask:
AITA (am I the a-hole) for telling my parents they have to pay for my wedding?
I (F28) am getting married to a pretty great guy (32). He is teacher and he is very happy with his decision to become a teacher. I work for a tech company and we do pretty well financially. We have been together for four years and have finally decided to get married. His parents are happy and mine are overjoyed.
One small wrinkle is that my parents expect us to have a massive church wedding with a few hundred guests. We were thinking Jamaica this summer during his time off. We are willing to do what my parents want but I am unwilling to foot the bill. My mom and I met with a wedding planner for an estimate. $35-$45 thousand dollars.
If we go to the resort we have picked out it will cost like $10,000. And that includes paying for his parents, and nephew to join us. My parents know how much money I earn and are insisting that I pay for the wedding myself.
We have been very clear. If they want to show off to their friends they can pay for it. We even volunteered to throw in the money we would have spent on my in-laws for the destination wedding we want.
My mom says I'm being an a-hole by denying her the chance to see her only daughter married in front of friends and family. I'm not. I'm just not willing to pay for it. My parents can afford to pay for the wedding. It might just mean putting off replacing their car this year.
So what did the internet have to say about this?
Let's find out!
Puzzleheaded_Big3319 says:
NTA (not the a-hole). Maybe keep your destination plans and tell parents they can plan and throw a party when you get back and you and partner will attend if they work out a date with you. Then they can celebrate how they want on their own dime.
anonwidow321 writes:
NTA. This is why I eloped lol. Honestly the audacity of your mother to EXPECT a wedding you don't want and also not want to pay for it is astounding. Do what makes you happy. Don't back down on this.
chriswillar says:
Based on the title, I was so ready to say YTA (you're the a-hole) but this is a clearcut NTA (not the a-hole) - you're willing to pay for what you want; if parents want more, then it should be on them to finance it. If they refuse to do so, then they have no say, it's that simple really. Oh, and there's also this tiny detail that it's YOUR wedding, NOT theirs.
AttackOwlFibre gave some tough love:
NTA. You're a grown up. Act like it and have the wedding you want.
Reddit deemed this one a cut and dry case of NTA (not the a-hole).
Reddit users sided with OP on this one. It's hard to please everyone but Reddit said OP's parents were in the wrong here.