Bride's parents say her fiancé is a 'gold digger,' try to ruin her wedding at every turn.
'My parents were the worst part of my wedding'
bandanarat
I (22F) married my wonderful husband, H (23M), a month ago and I just need to share some of the incredibly frustrating things my parents did on and before my wedding. Overall it was an incredible day I'll cherish forever, but my parents are something else. Sorry if this is long!
For context, my parents are incredibly money and image oriented and absolutely hate that my husband doesn't come from money. They offered to pay for the wedding, which in hindsight I should have declined since they are still trying to use it against me.
All throughout the engagement they continually made nasty comments about H, including trying to backtrack giving their blessing (which was only a courtesy and didn't affect our plans).
Anyway, a few weeks before the wedding my parents sat me down and started berating me for my decision to get married, saying how I was naïve and that H is manipulating me so he can get my parents' money (utterly unhinged, we have never asked them for anything).
They are suggesting his parents are brainwashing me (they are some of the sweetest, most down to earth people I know), and how I'm selfish and greedy for accepting their offer to pay for the wedding and to never expect them to support me again.
My dad then said that 'whenever this doesn't work out and you get sick of being poor, you're welcome to move back home'. They said plenty of other hurtful, untrue, and pretty delusional things and refused to apologize for any of them afterwards.
Naturally, my husband and I decided we would cut the parent dances entirely. My dad still walked me down the aisle and gave a speech. The dance would've felt like a lie, especially if they're so sure I'll be divorced in a few years.
So here's a list of things that happened the morning of the wedding:
- while I was getting my hair done, my mom calls and starts yelling that my dad is at the venue (which we didn't have access to until later that day) trying to find me and convince me to do the dance.
- she also was fuming that I didn't make a plan for him the morning of and that he'll have to sit at home by himself because of my disrespectful and selfish behavior. Surprise surprise, I guess no one on his side wanted to see him.
- when my mom gets to the hotel room she starts hounding me about her awful friend and her son who didn't RSVP but really want to be there and said I needed to rearrange tables and find a place to put them. My sister stepped in and told her how ridiculous that was so she went to another room trying to do it herself.
- my dad bought a cheap plastic aisle runner we didn't ask for and said he was going to install it whether I liked it or not because my parents decided not having one was classless (I warned my coordinator and it did not touch the floor)
- I waited to get into my dress until my mom did her hair and makeup since I figured it could be a nice moment, but once she was done she announced that she was going to change and that I should too, so my best friend and sister helped me into my dress, which I'm grateful for now.
After my dad's speech, which he said he copied off from Youtube and tweaked, I had my first dance with my husband and it was beautiful.
- my dad finds me with the wedding party and said he's ready for the father-daughter dance, which I say we are not doing because of the awful things he said to me. Instead of apologizing, he says I need to change my mind because it's hurtful to him and I shouldn't be ok with him being sad on my wedding day.
- after a few minutes of that I leave, but my dad stays and starts threatening my husband, claiming it's his fault I don't want to dance and that this will hurt their relationship long term. H stood his ground while my dad continued to try to threaten and guilt him into convincing me to do it.
- for the rest of the night my dad stood off on the side of the dance floor looking sad while I had a blast with my friends.
Oh, and on my WEDDING NIGHT my mom blows up my phone with calls and texts saying we need to be at the sendoff breakfast at 7:30 am....an hour and a half away from our hotel. Obviously we didn't go and she tried to guilt me by saying she told everyone we would be there. Not my problem.
Being away from my parents has shown me how dysfunctional and controlling they really are and how much better life is with my husband.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
GapRepresentative303
Do you have a ring camera at your house? Why don’t you invest in one. I bet your parents will be coming by unannounced .
The OP responded here:
bandanarat
That’s not a bad idea, my mom has tried to invite herself over multiple times but I’ve been able to put a stop to it.
Pining4theFjord
Wow. Just wow.
At my wedding we made sure the officiant didn’t ask if there were objections, as we weren’t sure my mother could hold it in. And she snot cried loudly most of the ceremony (not in a “I’m so happy I could cry way”. More a world is ending way).
But you’re making me feel waaaaaay better about her behavior. Sorry. That doesn’t help you much, does it? I’m glad you’ve managed to break those chains!!
The OP again responded here:
bandanarat
Oh boy that’s tough too. Weddings are crazy.
YoujustgotLokid
Op. Yikes, I have nothing else to say other than I’m so sorry and you handled yourself beautifully.