Woman's SIL accuses her of 'stealing the spotlight' scheduling her wedding before her.
"AITA: My fiancé & I planned our wedding for a date before his sister’s wedding"
imaqinethat
My fiancé and I got engaged about 3 weeks ago. Our relationship moved quickly and we got engaged after about 5 months of dating. We wanted to get married on July 19th, which is our 1 year anniversary of dating (just to be poetic and cute.)
He’s Catholic so we’re having a Catholic wedding. Unfortunately, July 19th wedding date was taken and the next earliest date was August 9th, 2024. His sister and her fiancé got engaged before we did (they’ve been engaged for about a year or so.)
Their wedding was scheduled for September 29, 2024. His sister threw a fit when she was informed of the date of our wedding and is demanding that we move our wedding until after hers so we don’t “steal her day.”
Her main point of argument was that she didn’t want people to congratulate us at her wedding… and also that she didn’t want to receive less cash (gifts) at her wedding because she’s relying on her guests to fund her honeymoon (which is asinine if you ask me.)
My issue is that, we were planning on having a tiny wedding ceremony with just family members, parents, siblings, and 2 uncles and aunts (8-10 guests in total). She’s having a bigger wedding, with about 50-75 guests.
So my issue is, with that many guests attending her wedding, why is she worried about receiving a slightly smaller cash gift from the 10 guests we may have in common between our two weddings?
But my fiancé hates drama and we didn’t want any problems so after a little back and forth, my fiancé and I agreed to move our wedding to sometime in October, which would be after her September wedding.
You’d think that’d be the end of it, but then she proceeded to insist that this actually wasn’t enough for her and that she wants the entire year of 2024 to herself and that we should have our wedding in 2025.
Therefore, we decided to stick to our original date of August 9th because she’s being ridiculous and narcissistic. We definitely want to get married this year and that won’t change.
That’s the whole reason we’re having a tiny wedding, because we want to get married as soon as possible without having to stress about planning a big wedding in a few months. Plus we care more about our future marriage than the wedding. So AITA for planning our wedding before hers, and sticking to our original date?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
BulbasaurRanch
TIL: marrying strangers is now “poetic and cute”
Married within a year of meeting. Yikes.
Edit: I don’t care about any of your “my grandparents got married after 12 minutes and they are still together” stories. Spare me.
Significant_Yak_5371
I got married within a year of dating and now I’m happily divorced. Yikes is the appropriate answer. I wish I would have listened to my friends…
notodumbld
I agree. Husband was 20 when we married, I was 23. We got married in June but had only met in May the prior year. We have been married 43 years, but damn, it’s been hard. If we had dated longer, I doubt we would have gotten married. We are just very different and both had traumatic events in our past we had never resolved.
whothis2013
ESH but I have cheese in my fridge older than your relationship. Your future SIL doesn’t deserve a wedding year, but you might be better in the long run if you did wait until 2025.
fabledangie
ehh ESH but planning a wedding within a month of someone in your immediate family lacks tact, whether it's before or after. I hate autumn weddings to begin with, it's so close to the holidays. If you care more about the marriage than the wedding anyway, you should do the date you want in 2025 because that'll be your anniversary for the rest of your relationship.
Tella_Fone
ESH No one deserves a "wedding year", that's absolutely ridiculous. It was in considerate to schedule your wedding a month before your future sister in laws's wedding date.
Nurse-Cat-356
Hmmm yta. This is ridiculously quick and just before his sister's wedding. It feels spiteful.
Historical_Manner246
Op I've read so many horror stories on here about marriages that are products of whirlwind romances, which yours would be. It's such bc the partners are basically marrying strangers. Now u see the best versions of each other. Give it another year or two & the demon sides will have to come to the surface too.