I have been in the process of adopting a child for the past two years. It's been an emotional roller coaster, and only a handful of close family and friends knew about it because I didn't want to jinx it until everything was final.
My older sister, let's call her Emma, got engaged around the same time I started the adoption process. Our family has been thrilled, planning for her big day next summer. Emma has always been the type to love attention, but I've been supportive and helped with preparations whenever I could.
This past weekend, I received the final confirmation: the adoption had gone through, and I was officially going to be a mom. Overjoyed, I wanted to tell my family in person, so I thought our regular Sunday family dinner at our parents' house would be perfect.
Well, as it turns out, Emma had a similar idea. She planned to announce her wedding venue and date at the same dinner without telling anyone. The dinner started, and everyone was in good spirits.
Before I could share my news, Emma stood up, clinking her glass for attention, and beamed as she revealed her wedding plans. Our family burst into excited chatter. In that moment, I felt like my news could wait until later in the evening, or even another day.
But then, my mom, who was one of the few who knew about the adoption, gave me a knowing look and mouthed, "Now's the perfect time!" Caught up in the emotion and encouraged by my mom's enthusiasm, I stood up and announced, "And I have some news too—I'm going to be a mom! The adoption is final!"
The room erupted. Half the family rushed towards me, showering me with congratulations. But when I looked at Emma, her face had fallen. She excused herself from the table and didn't return for the rest of the evening.
After the dinner, my parents and several relatives said that while they were happy for me, I should have waited and not "stolen Emma's thunder." Emma texted me saying I was an a-h0le for upstaging her on purpose and that I could have chosen any other day to announce my news.
My intention wasn't to overshadow her announcement, and now I feel torn up about it. Emma and I haven't spoken since, and the family is divided on whether I was insensitive or if it was just an unfortunate coincidence. So, Reddit, am I the a-hole for sharing my adoption news on the same night as my sister's wedding venue announcement?
NTA - First off, congratulations on your adoption going through, that's amazing news. Good grief though, your sister is an adult, right? Venue reveal? Seriously? The only response to someone telling you the venue for a wedding is 'oh that sounds nice.'
It's not something to 'celebrate' or go huffy over if someone else has even better news. It's barely even news! And your parents are being as ridiculous as your sister. She's not a child - although throwing a temper tantrum over this does make you wonder - and indulging her over this makes them as silly as she is.
Wedding culture has been an out of control monster for a long time with the most idiotic behaviour being excused because 'she's a bride' but I think your sister has managed to find a new low and your family are utter clowns for indulging her in this nonsense.
It’s okay, she’ll have all the attention back at the theme color reveal party.
Your mums the A-hole. She’s backtracked and dumped you in the poo. I can understand getting caught up in the excitement. Besides it’s not like she’s announcing the engagement. It just a where and when.
Since when is that a big fanfare. She’s an arse too for expecting everyone to fawn every minute detail of her wedding. Not everything needs an announcement. That’s going to get very boring.
NTA. A venue reveal isn't a thing. It doesn't need a full on announcement beyond being on the invitation. I'm afraid I don't think I'd be able to take it seriously if someone did a venue announcement. That's full on princess behaviour.
NTA. The idea that the announcement of a wedding date and venue is something that deserves its own celebration is absolutely ridiculous. An engagement, yes. You’d have to be quite egotistical to think that her having decided on a date and location is as important as you becoming a mom.