"AITA for wearing 'white' to a bridal shower?"
I need to know if I'm the AH here or not. I (45f) went to my cousins bridal shower over the weekend. I wore a bold geometric print skirt with a teal cardigan and a cream color sleeveless blouse.
I wore the skirt because my cousin absolutely loves it and the blouse and cardigan are my go tops to pair with it.
Please note: the skirt was NOT white or cream colored. It was bold reds, golds, Yellows and teals with only small patches of white throughout.
I got to the shower and started to mingling. I should mention, I'm a bigger woman. I get warm very easily. So I wear layers in case I start to get uncomfortable. Which I did. It was very warm so I took off my cardigan.
I went up to the drink table to refill my water when an older woman, probably mid 60s, came up beside me. I smiled and asked her if I was in her way. Again, I'm a big woman and I have a tendency to get in the way unintentionally.
She said no but wanted to ask if I felt what I was wearing was appropriate. I get this a lot from older women given my size and my attraction to sleeveless tops. But I'm comfortable in my body and don't care what people think. And I told as much, sans the caring part.
She chuckled and said no, did I think it was appropriate to wear white to someone else's bridal shower? I was taken aback for a moment but eventually responded well, the bride doesn't care so why would anyone else? And walked back to my table.
I saw the lady go back to another group of women who kept giving me disapproving looks.
Whatever, I'm not there for them.
A little bit later, my cousin started opening presents when my aunt realized she didn't have a piece of paper or pen to write down who brought what. I happened to have both in my purse and offered it to her. She asked if I could sit up front and keep the list for her while she organized the gifts as they were opened. I agreed and went to sit closer so I could hear and see everything.
When we got to the gift from the commentator, she had the same last name as the groom. Turns out it was the grooms mother, my cousins future MIL. And the group of people she was sitting with were her sisters and groom's cousins. All of whom did not look happy to see me up by the bride.
After gifts were done and I gave the list to my aunt, I went back to my seat and raise my glass to future MIL and her group and started laughing to myself. My cousins asked me what was so funny and I said I'd tell them later.
After the shower, I told my cousins about MILs comment and how I inadvertently got a petty revenge by sitting my white wearing butt by the bride during gift time. Most of them laughed but a few said I was an AH and should have let someone else keep the gift list.
I don't think I did anything wrong so I wanted some outside opinions and am willing to accept my judge.
AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA - omgggg you guys I CANNOT with some of these comments. To borrow a famous quote, “There’s people dying, Kim!” Y’all need some perspective, and have wayyyyy too much time on your hands. OP - I’m going to go with a healthy dose of fatphobia all around at that bridal shower. You’re good, girl. You’re good.
NTA. First of all, it wasn't the wedding. I'm sure the bride didn't wear her wedding dress to the bridal shower. Secondly, of course it's OK if your outfit "includes" some white (or cream). The rule is against all-white, or trying to look like you're the bride. No way the bride is going to wear a bold-print skirt.
NTA, and these people are ridiculous. Wearing a white dress to a wedding is taboo. Wearing a cream-colored top to a bridal shower is a non-issue. These people are making up a goofy rule that nobody but them cares about and trying to shame you for not playing along with their make-believe.
You were asked by your aunt to keep the list. What on earth were you supposed to do? Say "oh sorry, I can't, someone has decided they don't like me so I must sit in the corner of shame instead"?? This beef was entirely one-sided. If they got their noses out of joint by you sitting by the bride, that's on them.
NTA. You weren't wearing a wedding dress. You wore a sleeveless blouse. I feel sorry for your cousin, who is going to deal with this woman for the rest of her marriage.
Omfg people get so fussy over bridal stuff 🙄🙄🙄🙄 you wore a cream colored top with a colorful skirt to a party. Nobody would ever think you're the bride.
NTA I was expecting you to say you wore a white dress and didn't think it mattered outside the wedding itself. But a cream blouse over a colorful skirt? No. Some people are just looking to find a problem and some take modern trends (the bride wearing white to the bridal shower is only a few decades old, if that) as extreme rules.
I went to a wedding once where the dress code was florals and I was so worried I spent ages finding a floral dress that was not on a white background just in case - I get there and half the women are wearing dresses with white backgrounds, the bride didn't care. You know the bride, if she wasn't offended doesn't matter what the MIL thinks.
NTA. You handled this perfectly. You avoided drama at the shower, laughed off the MIL’s attempt to start drama, and filled in the bride lightheartedly afterwards, just in case she didn’t already know her future MIL is a troublemaker. Well done!