"Wedding called off moments before the ceremony."
I was invited to a wedding only because my parents were (they were friends with the parents of the bride), and over the years, my sisters and I had hung out with these people and their kids... like once a year sort of thing. We weren't close... but nevertheless, our whole family was invited.
The ceremony, photos and reception were all at the same location... whole-day event. We show up for the ceremony, are seated in what I will say was a beautiful venue. They'd really gone the whole 9 yards. Plants and flowers and fancy comfortable seating and so on.
The ceremony is supposed to start at 4 or whatever... and everyone is seated and waiting. The live string quartet is playing and playing, but never switching to "it's starting" music. 15, 20 minutes go by, during which time some members of both sides are getting up and going to the back and out to where the prep rooms are.
Of course, since they're all seated at front, everyone can see this continual dance of people coming and going, and their increasingly-concerned looks. Hushed whispers, shaking heads, more people getting up and coming back... one of the last was one of the grandmothers who'd obviously been crying. And some other aunt who was just visibly angry.
Ultimately, after almost 45 minutes, everyone is seated again. Actually, not everyone... the father of the bride suddenly appears, walks up to the musicians, says something, and they stop playing. He walks up to the platform and says something like, "Well, ladies and gentlemen, sometimes things just aren't meant to be...
There will be no wedding today. However, to some extent, being able to gather with close friends and family is always a cause for celebration... and, of course, especially since the caterers have already been paid, we invite you to stick around."
(Some stifled laughter)
"Please enjoy our hospitality and I hope you get an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. I had a whole speech prepared about all of these people who were to become part of my family, but even though I won't be leaving here with a new son-in-law, I must tell you that the Smiths are all wonderful people. You all are. Please enjoy the evening."
Pretty classy for a guy who was probably out 30k for this fancy wedding. FWIW, a lot of the family (from both sides) didn't stick around. No sign of bride or groom. But the rest of us had a pretty good time, though there were an awkward couple of hours of just milling around because of course suddenly everything was 2 hours ahead of schedule.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Great idea to just go ahead with the catering and party. Everyone was already there. You wrote word for word what he said? Seems a classy dude, the father. Hope the couple are okay, separately or together.
canada11235813 (OP)
Classy family. Not all of that was word for word, except for "However, to some extent, being able to gather with close friends and family is always a cause for celebration... and, of course, especially since the caterers have already been paid, we invite you to stick around." ... that, I remember pretty-much word for word. The rest captures the sentiment well.
Actually, "... must tell you that the Smiths are all wonderful people. You all are. Please enjoy the evening" That was pretty close to exact as well. I don't know what happened to the groom. The bride married a totally different guy 5 years later.
Such a gracious individual, the father of the bride. Tough situation to find yourself in but he handled it with aplomb and dignity.
I attended something similar in the 80s. We were all seated, music started, Groom in place in front of the church. Next thing we know, Best Man gets a whisper from Brides side, his face goes red. Head down, he leaves out a side door.
About 20 minutes later, he comes back and announces that there will be no wedding, apologies, thank you for coming and to please take your gifts and cards with you when you leave.
He was a good friend, told me later his fiancé got cold feet and literally jumped in her car and just left. They ended up getting married about a year later with a Justice of the Peace and court staff as witnesses.
The closest to this that Ive ever seen was receiving a sorry but the wedding has been canceled 2-3 weeks before the event. 6 months later the bride married the guy that came out of cake at her original bachelorette party.
I frankly applaud people who are brave enough to say NO This Is Wrong, I'm Not Doing It, I'm Sorry — even if it's literally at the last minute. It's awkward for everyone and, as in this case, mortifyingly expensive sometimes, but so much better than either a long unhappy marriage, or a painful, usually expensive divorce.
My mother got married — for the second time — six months after I was born. Her parents begged her not to go through with it, both times. And oh, how I wish she'd listened to them.
So ... What was the reason?
canada11235813 (OP)
Never found out... my mom asked some time later and only got a vague answer, but part of that answer was "It's for the best".
Wow, what an incredible story, the father of the bride handled such a heartbreaking moment with so much grace and dignity. Turning what could have been pure disaster into a space for connection and kindness is truly admirable.
It is much better to end it before the ceremony. A family friend got married and his wife asked for a divorce when they returned from the honeymoon. They had dated while she was in college and had purchased a home six months before. They had a full religious ceremony with a priest.
The bride then ran up her credit cards in the months leading up to the divorce went to court. Her family was disappointed that the judge recused himself and they had to get visiting judge from another county (we are a small town and he was friends with her parents).
The new judge basically had them sell the house and his parents were given the deposit back and she had to pay her bills from when they separated. I’m not saying she was at fault, just young and felt she had to do it. He later proved to be problematic and spoiled in other ways. The worst thing is that they kept all of the gifts.
As someone who went through with a marriage, even though I pretty much knew it wasn’t the right move, I commend the couple! It’s really intimidating to “ flake out” on guest who are invested. This, of course, was not the only reason I proceeded, I wanted to believe I was making the right decision, but I was wrong.