So, when a frustrated wedding guest decided to vent to the gloriously petty Reddit group, 'Wedding Shaming,' people were eager to pile on.
Recently went to a friends son's wedding. The wedding reception was elaborate , the parents had gone all out for their son, the venue was a stately manor (imagine scaled Downton Abbey) and most of the attendees were friends of the parents from our Italian community (so the age skew was definitely middle aged+ important to note).
The cocktail hour/session was spectacular, held in a stand-alone room, there were stations of chefs preparing different regional foods etc but as is the case with older places, the ventilation is never perfect and the room heated up with the cooking and the crowd and so by the end most people were sweating through their formal clothes. My rule of thumb is that the more elaborate the cocktail hour, the later the main meal is served and so I happily “prepared.'
Finally, after an enjoyable but hot cocktail hour, the main banquet room was opened, a double height hall that was breathtaking. So far so fantastic. This is where it got weird, the heat seems to have followed us and we’re sweltering.
For some reason despite the ornateness of the room, there were high beam purple lights that swept the hall, which with the unusual booming music turned an elegant sit down into a nightclub. I didn’t understand the music choice, it was contemporary hard core Italian rap.
No one there was 1st generation, nobody there is in the Italian music industry. The bride and groom (who presumably chose the music) would have been more likely to have grown up with Taylor Swift than Naples’ hardest. Their wedding, their choice , no problem except it was played at such excruciating volume that the “premiere” guests by the wedding party had to use ear plugs .
So the night progresses, no let up in the swirling purple lights and booming hardcore Italian rap, the heat at a bread making temperature and as expected no sign of the main entree. The layout of the hall seating didn’t lend itself to easy viewing of the first dance etc, since folks were too hot and suffering few people got up to get a better view etc.
Dinner was finally served at past 11pm, many guests just left but I refused on principle until we got our meal (sadly the meal wasn’t worth it but it’s the principle that counts!)
The mother of the groom took the mic and pleaded for everyone to stay for the “surprise,' sadly the heat, late food ear splitting music and nauseous purple lights were too much for us to stay (the surprise was some Italian pop star doing a few numbers). I felt drained after the evening and to top it all off I caught COVID that night.
Edit: The invite was for named invitees only, so that meant none of our 20+ Year old kids attended, skewing the age group to just the parents peers.
The ear plugs were obtained from the bar, no idea why they had them but as soon as people found out there was a rush to the bar to get them.
Leaving early was not an option, it would be seen as an insult to the hosts (who are kind people but not ones you’d cross) and my wife would have killed me. I found out after the fact that my wife had a migraine from the event but she felt obligated to stay.
Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this nightclub/wedding/Italian pop star concert drama. Here's what people had to say:
Sounds like they saw a short clip on tiktok and thought 'let's do that! Not realizing that 5+ hours of that is not enjoyable! Have the formalities, then dance party later!
Wait, the dinner was served at 11pm??? That's usually the time they bring out the midnight snack, like donuts or chocolate fountains, why would it be served so late?
Why was there no wedding planner for this? Sounds like an all around disaster
I would not have even stayed once I saw the lights and heard the loud music. Those types of lights trigger my migraines and coupled with the loud music, I would have had a raging migraine in a matter of minutes. No type of food would have been worth the pure misery that I would have been in if I had stayed.
Ugh I’m in my 40s and my friends and I choose quiet restaurants. I’m picturing a disco ball and smoke machine during dinner and waking up with a splitting headache.
Everyone agreed pretty unanimously here that this wedding sounds like a true nightmare for older guests and possibly also the couple getting married? Why not just serve dinner earlier so the non-party people can leave before the pop star's concert? Note to self: serve earplugs at nightclub wedding. Good luck, everyone!