'My family scheduled their wedding on Valentine's Day and I had to leave my girlfriend home alone.'
"My family scheduled their wedding on Valentine's Day and I had to leave my girlfriend home alone."
Weddings are expensive, and the one I just attended was no exception. I get that most couples don’t have infinite resources to be handing out invites to people that they don’t know, trust me. I don’t expect to bring a date to every wedding I’m invited to.
But why would you have your wedding on Valentine’s Day? Do you take joy in depriving me of romantic love while you celebrate yours? The ceremony, the vows, the music, everything was so excruciating knowing my girlfriend is alone at home instead of in my arms and celebrating alongside me.
She told me right off the bat that holidays are really important to her, and here I am skipping town on our first Valentine’s Day together due to a family obligation. Thank god she’s so understanding about it all, but it really soured my evening how much I was missing her all night.
Edit: So many heartless folks in the comments. I already stated that it’s our first Valentine’s Day together, no need to speculate further on the length of our relationship.
In fact, I am attending another wedding later this year with no plus one and I don’t intend to complain about it. We celebrated before I left, and will celebrate again when I return.
I traveled nearly 3,000 miles for this wedding (as did more than half of the guests). My immediate family insisted on my attendance. It was a damned if I do, damned if I don’t situation.
Seems like some of y’all have never been in love before, so let me fill you in: when you meet the person you want to be with, it’s impossible to witness a heartfelt wedding ceremony without projecting your own love onto it. Every vow, every anecdote, every speech makes you think, “wow, I know that feeling. I love that feeling. I miss that feeling.”
Meanwhile, I know for a fact that my girlfriend is trying to cheer up her bummed out single friends (that’s another story but there’s lots of heartbreak to go around) and missing me too because I’m 3 time zones away on a holiday that’s important to her.
It feels bad.
I’m glad I attended, my girlfriend understands and is being a total adult about it. But trying to party through the acute yearning was just painful.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Yikes! Maybe I could understand if the wedding was a brunch style, so you still had the evening to be with your plus one, but no plus one on any holiday and it's in the evening? That's rude, in my humble opinion.
Any holiday wedding really. If I'm giving up my new year etc I don't want to do it alone!
My cousin had a NYE wedding on the opposite end of the country. With limited budget and vacation days, I had to decide between seeing my family (who weren't relatives of my cousin) at Christmas or attending a NYE wedding. I chose not to attend the wedding. I'm still hearing comments about skipping the wedding 10 years later.
That’s where I normally deliver the polite no.
If its your first valentines together, of course she wasn't invited to the wedding with you. The bride/groom probably barely know her? You also could have declined to go?
THIS. Why go if your girlfriend is going to be very upset, and you're going to be upset and whine about it? Decline... There's seems to be a pretty easy solution you chose not to take.
So why not RSVP no? An invite is not a summons, it's a request.
smurfalurfalurfalurf (OP)
Family wedding. Mom would never let me live it down.
This couple will forever be competing with every couple where they live for restaurant reservations on their anniversary.
smurfalurfalurfalurf (OP)
Yeah I thought about that too. They made their anniversary redundant with Valentine’s Day.
It's your first Valentines together. You probably received the invitation before you started dating. It's not the end of the world.
So much missing information here. When was the wedding date set? Typically these things are months in advance (longer if people need to travel) and I’m going to assume you were single when the date was set and venue booked.
The date has likely been locked in for a while, so this is on you for not managing expectations with your partner. Why not take them out the night before, or for a weekend before or after, and make them feel truly spoiled and special?
By your own admission, this is your first valentines with your partner. We didn’t want short-term partners at our wedding either, and our friends understood (we didn’t want to look back at photos wondering who the random people were. Long term partners got plus ones of course).
Yes weddings are expensive and yes, sometimes hard calls need to be made with the guest list. If I’m choosing between either two friends, or a friend and their partner that I’ve never met and they’ve been with for 5 minutes, I know which way I’m going.
The couple probably made the guest list before you were even with your partner. You weren't "deprived of love", you went to an event solo. And a family wedding, where it's likely you knew a lot of people. It's really not that big of a deal.
“Deprived of romantic love?” Gag. Are you 12 writing in your diary? You could’ve said no. It was one night, I’m sure your girlfriend was “in your arms” when you got home. Shift valentines to the day before/after.
Do Americans really take valentines this seriously? I’m genuinely asking as it’s not even a “holiday” per se, it’s not a day off, it’s a marketing tactic that people (obviously) take way too much to heart. Hopefully you didn’t ruin the vibes at your table sulking all night.