'AITA for insulting my sister because she won't invite my pregnant wife to her wedding?'
"AITA for insulting my sister because she won't invite my pregnant wife to her destination wedding?"
Kindly_Finding8606
My wife and my sister are long life friends. They've known each other since high school and they were inseparable during college. I met my wife through my sister and that made their bond stronger.
Now unto the issue, my sister's getting married for the...3rd time. She's having a destination wedding and invited everyone except my wife. My wife was obviously hurt and upset but didn't wanna say anything. I insisted to know why and my sister said that my wife violated the "no prego women in the wedding" rule.
I thought that was ridiculous and tried to get her to compromise but she refused. I told her it'd damage her relationship with my wife and she said "it's fine, she'll get over it". I told her my wife's absence will bring more attention than her being there, my sister responded "not sure anyone will even notice". I was so mad but decided to let it go.
Days later, we met at mom's house for my dad's birthday and thd whole family was there. My sister decided to bring up the issue and said "please tell Regina that I'm so sorry she's not invited to the wedding". I responded "it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so...".
She was stunned and the table went quiet save for some relatives who busted into laughter. Her fiance covered his mouth as if he wanted to yell at me and she got up and excused herself to the bathroom. Dinner turned awkward and was cut short.
Later mom yelled at me saying I insulted and humiliated my sister and her wedding and marriage. My sister demanded I apologize or she won't come to the family's Christmas party and my parents are now freaking out wanting me to apologize.
I said no but my wife thinks I should just apologize since my parents said that if my sister won't attend their Christmas party then they won't invite me to it. That made my wife upset. So AITA here?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
slackerchic
"I responded "it's fine, her pregnancy will probably last longer than your marriage anyway so..." BAZINGA! NTA. It might have been harsh but so was icing your wife out of the wedding.
Your wife is a member of the family and has been for what I'm assuming is a while. Asking you to ditch your pregnant wife to attend a destination wedding is bananas. Your sister is being a diva. Besides, this is her third wedding. People probably aren't going to be fawning over her the way she hopes.
Marie1420
If OP feels like it, he can give a “non-apology” to his sister just so his parents are somewhat appeased. Something like “sorry you feel that way” or “sorry I made a joke out of the truth”. Lol.
AcanthisittaNo9122
NTA. Do your parents even care that your sister hurt your wife’s feeling? They let her blackmailing them and try to make you cave in. You can go to your wife family for Christmas from now on and forever.
Also, you can threaten them that they’ll never see your kid if they don’t make your sister apologize to your wife. Your kid will be their grandkid, will be in their life forever, unlike your sister third husband, he might be gone soon and they’ll need to get to know the fourth and fifth and sixth…
slap-a-frap
NTA - and you can warm some chestnuts by that burn! Look, at the end of the day, just don't go to the wedding. Tell your sister that if your wife isn't going that you're not going to be attending as well. I'm sure this will create drama but at the end of the day, it's what you do when you're married. Your sister has yet to learn that which is probably why this is #3.
SportyJesus
Grab the aloe cuz that was fucking perfect. Your sister sounds exhausting. NTA.
steampunk_ferret
NTA. You spoke with your sister privately about your wife being excluded from the wedding. She knew how you felt about it. So...she brings it up in front of the entire family at dinner??? What did she expect? You didn't make dinner awkward - she did.
Since your mom decided to get in the middle of it, tell your mom that you'll drop off gifts after Christmas because you and your wife are skipping her Christmas party. I'm guessing this isn't the first time your mom has gotten into the middle of disagreements between you and your sister and taken your sister's side.
AppropriateScience71
NTA. I was planning to go with E S H because your comment was kind of below the belt, except it was sooo damned funny you get a pass. I think it’s worthy of a “I’m sorry you were offended” type of apology if you want to keep the peace. Definitely not worthy of an “I’m actually sorry” apology.
That said, excluding your wife because she’s pregnant is truly outrageous! It would’ve been nice to see if the rest of your family agreed, but that’s much harder to assess after you shut down your sister so hard.
You didn’t explicitly say this, but I sure as hell hope there’s no way in hell you’re still attending her wedding, right? If not going - awesome. If still going, total AH move. I would hope several other family members would also tell your sister she’s being ridiculous and, ideally, also boycott it on principle.
The ONlY way any of this can be salvaged is for your sister to recognize just how absurd her request is (because other family members (or maybe AITA) tell her), she reverses her decision, and profusely and sincerely apologizes. But - yeah - I don’t see that happening either.
Klingon42
NTA Was your wife not at this event either? Asking as you said your sister said “Please tell Regina…” Why was your wife not there? I’m sorry if I’ve got this wrong. I also think your sister sounds like a mean girl from high school.
The no prego women in weddings rule? Sounds made up, although of course it maybe a thing where you are from. I think you and your wife should stay home and enjoy Xmas together.