'AITA for thinking the ring my boyfriend got me was an engagement ring?'
"AITA for thinking the ring my boyfriend got me was an engagement ring?"
My bf(25m) and I(25f) went out for our sixth month anniversary this weekend and towards the end of the dinner he said he had a gift for me and handed me a box. It was a gorgeous ring and I guess the title of this reveals that I confused this gift as a proposal.
I teared up and screamed 'yes!' repeatedly and other people clapped and cheered. My bf looked confused and kind of awkward the rest of the night but before I found out this was a mistake I assumed he was just shocked that I said yes.
Fast forward to today I had him over and asked him when we should start telling friends, family and other plans and that's when he finally said 'yeah, about that, I'm not sure how to tell you this but I didn't mean, to propose, my mom and I just thought that would be a perfect first gift.'
I just laughed it off at first and said 'Oh, well that will make a really funny story for our wedding!' and he corrected me that there was no wedding yet. He said this was going too fast and that we shouldn't be getting married for at least another 2 years.
I was really heartbroken and called him an AH, and that it was stupid of him to get me a f*%^ing ring if he wasn't proposing, a necklace or something would have made more sense if he was going to give me jewelry.
He called me an as*hole for being ungrateful and jumping to conclusions and putting him in this position in the first place. This was our first really big fight and I ended up kicking him out.
I called my parents about this today and my dad seems to think that he's the AH but my mom says I was being a complete idiot because it's not like he got on one knee or actually asked me to marry him. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
I don't feel like we have enough information to judge. Had the two of you talked about marriage or your future before? How serious is the relationship... were you living together? saying I love you etc?
If you made this giant leap when you had just been casually dating then yes you didn't handle this the best. But if he lead you on thinking you two were in a whirlwind romance and then backtracked when it all got too real for him then no your not TA.
We don't live together, and admittedly the topic of marriage only happened maybe twice before this.
nappynap314 said:
YTA. You've been dating for 6 months. Chill.
rjinchico said:
YTA and your mom is completely right. Did he just hand it to you? Was it wrapped? It’s been 6 months and you’re jumping to this conclusion? I’m so confused and wondering if you’d have preferred he corrected you in front of all the people in the restaurant? That seems way worse.
He definitely coulda made you look foolish in front of a crowd and he didn’t. This is literally all on you for jumping to conclusions, and then acting like he’s an AH for buying you a ring instead of a necklace? Pfffffft get outta here. Do whatever you want but even from your perspective this is a terrible look for you.
tacopizza23 said:
Dying from the second hand embarrassment on this one, big oof.
MaybeAWalrus said:
Kind YTA. You expectation are through the roof. I don't understand why you would expect an engagement ring after only 6 months dating someone. You just jumped to conclusions and yelled at him for not meeting your expectations. So yeah, that's not very healthy in any relationship. You need to learn to communicate and get on the same page.
JoeyintheBunch said:
YTA. You're overreacting. A ring is a nice gift, but instead of being grateful, your being salty because it wasn't used to propose to you. You even kicked him out and called him an as*^%le.
You legit need therapy if you're A) mad at him for communicating that YOU assumed a very big thing, and B) you think it's normal to talk about marriage "maybe twice", date for 6 months, not live together, and get proposed to in that situation. I hope this is fake because good God, a 25 year old should have better sense.