I had an incident on my wedding day back in 2017, where my former fiance abandoned me and ran away with his pregnant mistress. That image, those details are forever engraved on my mind and I'll never forget how I felt that day. This was truly a turning point in my life. My family have always been there for me so I kept close to them.
My younger sister is currently engaged and her wedding will be in few months. She's struggling with money so I decided to help her and her fiance and pay the wedding dress.
This allowed her to be able to buy her dream wedding gown that costs 7,000 ($). It's a lot for a dress but she literally cried because she wanted it. (This happened few days before we agreed to go buy the dress).
We were eating dinner at my parents home and my cousin and aunt were there. My aunt was asking my sister about the wedding and my sister said that everything was going according to plan and then casually laughed and said 'let's just hope he won't ran away with a pregnant mistress or something on our wedding day'.
I was blown away completely. She laughed and my aunt laughed too as if this was a joke. She was basically mocking what happened with me in my wedding.
It happened so fast I got up and started screaming at her calling her an idiot but my parents asked me to take it easy and she said it was a joke and she didn't 'think' I'd react so intensely.
My aunt remained seated and my cousin asked me to calm down and drink some water but I grabbed my stuff and as I was getting ready, I told my sister she was getting 0 dollars for her dream wedding dress then I walked out. I heard louder commotion as I walked and my dad and cousin followed me outside trying to talk but I asked to be left alone.
My and dad spoke to saying I was too harsh on my sister over a joke and said that I know this is how she is with her dark sense of humor. They said she's been crying after I decided to back out of helping her and said this'd ruin her wedding. They want me to reconsider my decision since it might damage my relationship with my sister but I refused.
Did I overreact?
Info: it's my aunt that would usually bring up what happened from time to time and say stuff like 'if what happened didn't happen you would've had at least 2 kids now' or 'do you know what day it is? your wedding anniversary !'
It's harsh but she stopped doing it anymore. Maybe my sister is being influenced by her but still. It hurt the same, and more coming from my own sister.
'This is how she is with her dark sense of humour'.
'Well, this is how I am with her dark sense of humour'.
Serious lack of self-awareness and simple respect from this sister. Charged remarks come with charged consequences. NTA.
I really like this. That's how she is, and this is how I am.
People tend to make more excuses for the squeakier wheel.
NTA. I wish I had a dollar for every time I seen 'you know how he/she/they is/are' on the sub. It's just the same as saying 'yea we know what they did was wrong, but they don't listen to us, so we're going to try to guilt you into fixing this.'
You were under no obligation to pay for your sisters extremely expensive dress. It was a wonderful act of kindness. As thanks, your sister threw the most traumatic experience of your life in your face and laughed about it. 7k can buy a pretty amazing holiday OP. You definitely deserve it, just sayin.
Let's all joke about someone's trauma, and then get mad at them when they react exactly how you'd expect someone with trauma to react. NTA.
She was crying over a dress. She should have been crying with remorse for how she hurt you. NTA. All she cares about is “HER DAY and HER DRESS” and YOUR wallet. Tell her to pound sand and if anyone in your family gives you shit, tell them the same.
Tell them that in 10 years, IF she’s matured and can sincerely apologize, you MIGHT forgive her and you MIGHT consider a nice anniversary gift. If the marriage lasts that long.