Bride is marrying stepsister's ex, but stepsister is dating bride's crush, doesn't know if she should go.
'WIBTAH If I showed up to my step sister’s wedding with her old crush?'
General-Target-3607
I was engaged to my fiancé until I found out he cheated on me 2 months before the wedding. A year later my step sister announced that she was in love with my ex and that it just happened. Now they’re engaged to be married.
When she got together with my ex, I pulled away from my entire family. Mum always put step dad first and always tried to please him so she supported my step sister and said the heart wants what the heart wants. So I kept LC with the whole family.
Step sister always had a crush on this friend of ours, something he never reciprocated and I know that because he always liked me. I liked him too but I knew my step sister loved him so I rejected him. When he finally mustered the courage to ask me out and I told him why. You know, sisters before misters.
Now I have reconnected with this guy and we have been dating for 9 months. We haven’t told anyone but our closest friends yet though because we are enjoying our privacy.
Now that my step sister’s wedding is nearing, they want me to attend the wedding to show people I was ok with my step sister and that she didn’t steal my fiancé. Obviously I don’t want to go. Not because I’m not over what happened. I was over it the moment it happened. But I still believe what my step sister did was douchey, to be honest. They’re pressuring me to attend.
Would I be the AH if I showed up with my bf, her old (probably still) crush? Or should I just take the high road and insist on not going. Or I can just announce my relationship the morning she gets married. She is always on her social media. It would be great if the first thing she saw that morning is a picture of me and him sharing a kiss. I don’t know.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
genuinesasksealskin
I would have a conversation with your BF as you would essentially be using him as a prop to rub in your step sisters face. If he is comfortable going then show up and have the time of your life on their dime. Stay classy! NTA either way.
The OP responded here:
General-Target-3607
He said he would be my date if I wanted but he would rather have us not go at all. Mum is calling me EVERY DAY to tell me to rsvp because I haven’t. My bf said I should rsvp then call sick if I want her off my back😂😅
genuinesasksealskin
Or a little passive aggressive, my BF didn’t realize the dates and booked a romantic getaway for that weekend, sorry can’t go, then post a nice picture on social media the morning of.
Corfiz74
Why don't you just make your relationship public, and then wait to see if you're even still invited? With a bit of luck, she won't even want you there anymore.
The OP responded here again:
General-Target-3607
Well, in the beginning I just wanted us to date in private away from all the drama. Just see if there’s something between us. Then step sister got engaged and I thought I didn’t want to hurt her and ruin her engagement to be honest because I know she would be devastated.
But to ask me to attend just for her to to save face, that made me flabbergasted and honestly even more feeling betrayed. I just couldn’t believe what they were asking of me.
Corfiz74
Well, tell her now and know that she can only lose, whatever she decides - if she invites you, she'll have to see you happy with her one that got away, if she doesn't invite you, everyone will think you stayed away because she stole your guy.
The OP again responded:
General-Target-3607
Genius plan
Majestic-Post-1684
NTA I say post your relationship now & possibly get uninvited.
Typical_Agency8984
Don’t go, don’t use him as a prop for revenge. Block your mom and anyone who is destroying your happiness.
The OP returned:
General-Target-3607
This is actually so true. Not use him as a prop. Thank you. I just get so curious about seeing her reaction 🫣 I know it’s just petty.
Beneficial-Eye4578
Look your step sister is a drama Queen and not a nice person. He has told you he does not wish to go. Pay more attention to your current relationship. The problem with you taking him is that she WILL create a fuss and state you did it on purpose and destroyed her special day and your mom will keep harassing you forever.
Be kind to yourself and your boyfriend. RSVP - No It’s not your business what other people think. Your mom is not on your side anyway so why on earth are you still in contact? Live your best life and don’t cave in.