Woman gets hit on by stepsister's fiancé, tells family, gets blamed for wedding drama. AITA?

"AITA for telling my parents the truth about my stepsister's fiancé since they now won't pay for her wedding?"

I (28F) have a stepsister, Jen (29F). Our parents got together when we were teenagers and Jen and I never clicked. I have nothing against her, we just aren't close. From the ages of 22-26 I worked at my stepdad's company, and Jen worked there too, and still does. While working there, I became friendly with a colleague, Pete.

Everyone in the office would joke about Pete having a crush on me, but I never saw him like that and he never said anything so I didn't pay much attention to the possibility. However, when I started dating my now-husband, things got a bit awkward with Pete. When I quit my job, and Pete and I didn't really stay in contact, but we followed each other on social media.

It was a few months later that I saw on Pete's social media that he had started seeing Jen. Pete and Jen got engaged last year, and since my stepdad agreed to pay for the wedding. A few weeks ago, an old colleague got married, so me, Jen, Pete, and my parents were all at the wedding. Pete was a little over-friendly at the reception, which I put down to alcohol.

Later in the evening though, I was outside getting some air and Pete came out and basically propositioned me. I made it clear I was extremely uncomfortable and went back inside. The next day I called Jen and told her everything.

She accused me of trying to ruin her relationship, and said that I shouldn't make the whole situation worse by telling her dad, since I'd already done enough to sabotage her relationships.

I agreed, because I didn't feel I had any right to continue being a spanner in the works. A week ago I was Skyping my parents, and they were talking about Jen's wedding. They were talking about Pete and my face must have changed because they immediately asked if something was wrong.

I insisted it was nothing but it turned out they'd seen Pete follow me out at the wedding and had their own theories about what he'd done to upset me, all of which were worse than what actually happened. After 20 minutes of them thinking the worst, I told them the truth. I begged them not to do anything about it, since Jen and Pete worked it out, but my stepdad was livid.

He called Jen and they had a huge fight, and he refused to pay for the wedding, or even attend. Jen has been calling and texting me, and posting on social media about what a horrible person I am for ruining her wedding.

I've had messages from her friends telling me how awful it was for me to tell our parents after she asked me not to, and saying how I've basically ruined Pete's career, etc. I've tried explaining that letting them continue assuming would have led to worse consequences, but apparently, I should have just been able to hide the whole thing somehow.

My friends say I did nothing wrong, but my stepdad is now not speaking to Jen, and her whole wedding has been cancelled because of me, so I do feel guilty. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

One-Awareness3671 wrote:

NTA, the wedding has not been canceled because of you, it’s been canceled because of Pete. I doubt this is the first time Pete did this to a woman, and that’s why your parents thought the worst of what happened. This was probably the last straw.

Normal-Bluejay9388 wrote:

NTA. It was never your intention to reveal until your parents somehow got it out of you. And it is better that they cancel the wedding because your sister deserves better even though she can't see it now.

cricket73646 wrote:

NTA. How did Pete think was going to end? If he really believed that you would take him up on his offer, he was blowing his career up anyway as well as his relationship. Jen’s also TA for blaming you in this matter when she should have placed all of the blame on Pete.

slendermanismydad wrote:

The wedding was cancelled because of Pete. Pete who got engaged to the daughter of the owner of the company he works for and then he hit on the married step-daughter of that owner. They also knew Pete followed you out and that you were upset. They assumed worse than what happened.

Jen doesn't get to order you not to tell your own mother an experience that happened to you. I understand you also told your stepdad but it's not like your mother wasn't going to do that. NTA.