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Woman asks parents to pay for vow renewal to make sister's 2nd wedding 'even;' AITA?

Woman asks parents to pay for vow renewal to make sister's 2nd wedding 'even;' AITA?


Considering the fact that most people don't plan on having a second wedding, what happens when your sister is jealous that your parents are paying for your round two of bridal bliss?

So, when a conflicted married woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about whether or not she's wrong to insist that her parents pay for her vow renewal ceremony, people were eager for the piping hot family tea.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) For Asking My Parents To Pay For My Vow Renewal If They Pay For My Sister’s Second Wedding?

My (37F) sister (40F) is having a second wedding this upcoming summer. Her first wedding was nearly 15 years ago as she married her college boyfriend when she was 25 and they divorced five years later. My sister didn’t talk at the time about why the marriage ended, but came out as a lesbian a number of years later.

She began dating her current partner five years ago. She is lovely and seems like a great match for my sister. I am genuinely happy for them and wish them the best.

But here is where the conflict comes in. As soon as my sister announced that she and her partner are getting legally married our parents jumped on the opportunity to plan and pay for the wedding. My sister and her partner can more than easily pay for it but my parents insist on paying for it for “the principle of the matter.'

I believe this insistence is largely a way for them to try to make up to my sister how they handled her sexuality in the past. My parents have become far more liberal in recent years but were heavily involved in the church when we were growing up.

I didn’t know this at the time but my parents took my sister to some conversion therapy type program when she first tried to come out to them as a teenager. They now feel bad about this and try to make it up to her.

Despite this I think it is unfair that my sister is getting a second wedding paid for when I have only gotten one. I tried to bring this up to my parents by asking if they would pay for my husband and I’s vow renewal to make it even.

They got mad at me and said I was being ridiculous and selfish at a time that should be about my sister. AITA for asking my parents to pay for my vow renewal to make things even between my sister and I?

Yikes...the family group chat planning this bachelorette party is about to turn into a horror show. Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this family wedding drama:

HealthyOatbits21 said:

YTA (You're the As*hole). How about this. When you marry a woman they'll pay for that. In the meantime be quiet and enjoy your privilege of being able to marry the person you loved the first time. I'm delighted that your parents called you out on this. Go parents!

HurricaneBells said:

You are 37 years old. GROW UP. YTA.

zakabog said:

YTA. You had a wedding that I'm assuming your parents paid for to a person you actually loved and wanted to be with. Your sister had a fake wedding to someone she wasn't really meant to be with just because it was 'what she was meant to do' to make you parents happy. Now she's having a real wedding to a person she's actually happy to be with, grow up.

Mother_Tradition_774 said:

YTA. Your position on this makes absolutely no sense. Your sister is about to be married for the second time and you’ve only been married once. Why do you think you’re entitled to have another wedding celebration on your parents’ dime?

I have a feeling that because you’re straight, you were the golden child while your sister was the black sheep for a long time and you enjoyed it. Now that your sister has been fully accepted by your parents, you’re not the golden child anymore and you want the spotlight back. That’s the only explanation I can think of for this ridiculous request you came up with.

Particular_Title42 said:

YTA. Your parents paying for her wedding but not your vow renewal might make things even between you and your sister. Your parents actively abused your sister under the guise of 'help' for years and they're trying to make up for it. You started out ahead.

A vow renewal is nothing but a vanity project (saying this as someone who has renewed her vows). You just feel entitled to a 'wedding' because your sister is getting one. Wah.

Longjumping-Cat-712 said:

YTA. Something is very, very wrong with you if you think you deserve a vow renewal because your sister is getting married.

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this woman is 100%, hilariously, and almost impressively in the wrong about this. Her sister is finally getting to be her authentic self with a person she loves, and all she can think about is how she only got one party on her parents' tab? Hopefully this bride is smart and doesn't choose her sister to be in the bridal party. Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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