I (F26) can make really nice floral arrangements. It's not really a business, but I have made centerpieces and arrangements for my family and friends and their events.
Last year, let's call her Sadie (F23) contacted me, saying she likes my work and if I could make some centerpieces for the guest tables at her wedding. Sadie is my close friend's cousin, and while I've seen her around and occasionally talk to her, we're not close friends or anything.
I said sure and we worked out what she wanted (also I asked if she wanted something for the bridal table, but she said that was already covered). She invited me to the wedding as well.
So the wedding was last week, I was really happy with how all the centerpieces turned out and thought they looked great. The bridal table, however, had these really extravagant centerpieces that were stunning, and I obviously didn't make them so I asked Sadie who did.
She said she made those ones herself, but she wouldn't have time to make all the centerpieces for the tables, so she asked me.
I'll be honest that I felt kind of betrayed, because her centerpieces were much nicer than mine and people would ask about those, not the ones on the guest tables. I didn't say anything but later messaged her (politely, I didn't go off) that I felt she was undermining my effort by having such showy centerpieces.
Sadie said she wasn't trying to undermine anything and this is what they thought went with the decor. I said she should've been upfront about the bridal table, or had the same centerpieces as the guest tables. She started getting pissed, said there's nothing to be upfront about and I'm 'overstepping'.
So AITA? I'm just kind of pissed she was trying to overshadow my work, but she was annoyed at me for texting that.
YTA what did you think “already covered” meant? Instead of getting her to recommend you to her guests you’ve ensured she will no longer even avail of your service for future events.
Did you not realise the only way guests would’ve known about your business is if she recommended you to them? You’ve effectively burned that bridge by your comments.
weddingcenterpiece OP responded:
I thought already covered meant she got another vendor. Making them herself just felt a bit like she was trying to show oh look at how great I make these, kind of thing. She could've made them all herself instead of asking me.
Or if it was a time issue, she could've asked me to make the bridal table ones and made the guest ones herself. I get it's her wedding though, so I can see how I might've overreacted
I’m kinda baffled you are surprised the bridal table’s center pieces were more extravagant than the ones for guest tables. It would be more surprising if the reverse was true.
I’m guessing you imagined a ton of compliments and didn’t. Why? Guests were more focused on the actual event than centerpieces. YTA big time.
weddingcenterpiece OP responded:
I'm not surprised the bridal table's centerpieces are more extravagant, I'm surprised she made them. Even if it was another vendor I think it would've been fine, but making them herself kind of feels like a kick to me, like 'oh I'm much better than you, but I'll get you to make the guest table'.
But it is her wedding so she can do whatever she wants, which is why I might be overreacting. But I just think it's kind of like if someone asks you to make a wedding cake, and they have another bigger and better wedding cake there, you know?
YTA. 'Last year, let's call her Sadie (F23) contacted me, saying she likes my work and if I could make some centerpieces for the guest tables at her wedding.' Looks like you were clear you were doing the guest tables. That means you knew the bridal table wasn't your gig. You're b^%$#ing about being upstaged at a wedding. By. The. Bride.
YTA, because the more I think about it I can’t believe the audacity for you to consider the bride’s wanting to make herself an ornate decoration for her own table to somehow be about upstaging YOU.
This is a good point. She COULD have made the best of this and gained something (like a side job with $$) by teaming up with bride doing centerpieces etc. but she burned her bridge.
THAT is what blew my mind. How are you going to be bitter that the bride upstaged you at HER OWN WEDDING
YTA. The asshole and frankly a little unhinged. You’re upset you were upstaged by… the bride… the bride you hardly know… at her own wedding? She asked you to do something and when she said the bridal table was covered it was pretty clear that meant she was going to have nicer centerpieces already for the bridal table. The fact you were even upset by it shows an incredible lack of maturity.
Talk about wanting to be the centre(piece) of attention.
OP is definitely coming off a little self-center(piece)d!