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Woman refuses to attend sister's wedding; is accused of 'playing the depression card.'

Woman refuses to attend sister's wedding; is accused of 'playing the depression card.'


AITA for thinking that my sister is selfish for wanting to skip my wedding because of her 'trauma'?

I (25F) am about to get married to my fiance (28M) and we already got the wedding list down, however my sister (25F, Irish twin) just rejected my invitation cause apparently she doesn't believe she can be at my wedding without her 'trauma' being triggered.

Her husband died 6 years ago just 10 days after they got married and now my sister thinks attending another wedding would trigger all of these memories and it would be too much for her, even tho she knew her husband would die soon after their wedding cause he had late stage cancer.

That was only reason they even got married and it was 6 years ago, so by all means she shouldn't be so traumatized that she'd avoid any and all weddings, including mine. Honestly I feel like this trauma thing is just an excuse not to come cause we've always had a rocky relationship, but c'mon now, it's my wedding, she should put that aside and support me during my biggest day.

Also her friend called me to complain about how our family 'harassing' my sister to come to my wedding is sending her into depression and even made her skip work. I admit I did get my family to try to convince my sister to attend my wedding, but nobody has been harassing anyone and I feel like she's once again playing the 'depression card' so she can get away with her unfair treatment of me.

Now even my fiance is on her side and wants to leave her alone cause it's not worth it to 'bully' anyone to come to our wedding (he also suggested me to post this here). AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

da-mi-basia-mille writes:

YTA. Her entire wedding experience was traumatic because it was wrapped up in the preparations for and eventual death of her husband. She associates weddings with death. There is no timeline where someone is over their grief and you have no right to demand that she be over it. Why should she want to go to your wedding when you are such deeply unpleasant and unsympathetic person?

KbbbbNZ writes:

Yup, YTA for your quotes around trauma and complete lack of empathy to very valid feelings. And I had to look up what 'Irish twin' is and the first thing that came up is how offensive it is, so YTA for that too.

VeryStickyPastry writes:

YTA. Sounds like you need to remove your personal opinions from this and listen to the people around you INCLUDING YOUR FIANCÉ that you are being a harassing bully.

conchitu writes:

YTA. You don’t get to dictate when she’s done grieving and when she’s ready to attend weddings. Not even yours. The way you talk about her and dismiss her gives me the chills. I wouldn’t want to go to your wedding either, and I don’t even have trauma.

DayOne15 writes:

NTA. I’m sure going to your wedding will bring up so old memories that are hard to deal with but she should be able to go to a wedding 6 years later.

BuddyCamp875 OP replied:

Thank you, finally someone seeing my point. The weddings aren't the ones responsible for her husband's death, so it's unreasonable of her to still avoid them to this day.

Sources: Reddit
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