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Woman asks if she's wrong for refusing to take down Instagram video of ex dancing.

Woman asks if she's wrong for refusing to take down Instagram video of ex dancing.


My children's dad & I got seperated and divorced 2 years ago. We're on good terms regarding co parenting. And since he's close to my brother, my brother had invited him to his wedding. Perfectly okay with me since the kids were thrilled to get extra time with dad.

I was taking a video of mom and my kids at the wedding and posted it on my insta. Hours later, I get a call from my ex yelling about my camera catching him dancing drunkenly in the background. I said 'so what?!?!' He told me he's getting engaged to his conservative girlfriend soon and if her or her conservative family saw him in this video then there's gonna be trouble.

I thought that was silly. He demanded that I take it down but I declined. He insisted saying he was 'technically' recordered via my camera and he did not consent. I called him ridiculous and refused to take it down. He's gotten the kids involved now which got me mad and made the argument escalate.

Mom is saying I should take it down but I feel like he's trying to control my social media activity. AITA for refusing? He said that his girlfriend can and WILL see it via the kids since they're with me on social media.


chriswillar says:

Ask yourself this - is that 'silly' video worth destroying your co-parenting relationship with him right now? Because he is absolutely in the right to demand you take it down if he's featured in it. No one says you have to delete it off your phone, so the memory isn't gone, but it's petty of you to insist it should remain online. YTA

Also - a wedding tends to be a private event, not public. He's in his right to ask for privacy.

Alternative_Year_340 replied:

Not really. He has no reasonable expectation of privacy — especially not when it’s generally expected there will be photography.

(The point about damaging the co-parenting relationship stands. But I doubt that relationship will survive the ex’s new relationship anyway.)

DamnYouPatrice added on:

One thing is to consent photos/videos, another is having them posted online.

Alternative_Year_340 shot back:

Welcome to 2022. You have no reasonable expectation of privacy in public and no right to prevent videos taken in public from being posted on social media.

chriswillar jumped back in:

False. I have successfully gotten someone fined for sharing images of me online without my consent.

particledamage says:

I... don't know about this one. If you go to a wedding, you should expect to have your picture/video taken. Most weddings have photographers who are hired not just to take pictures of the couple but also of guests in notable moments.

Don't do anything at a weddnig you don't want any permanent memory of.

That said, you still have a right ot ask people to not post this stuff publicly. Just don't be surprised if they say no. Or if people you don't even know have stuff of y ou in the background.

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