Story time! Buckle up, this is a long one…My friend “Emily” got married last year, somewhat on a whim because she was pregnant.
2-3 weeks before the wedding, she sent a group text out to some of our friends asking for help with ushers, MC, speeches, etc. A little last minute, but no judgment, we were all happy to help.
I volunteered to be the Master of Ceremonies. I love public speaking so I was happy to do it. Emily also asked if during the ceremony I could take the appetizers out of the fridge and set them on the tables. She said that all I needed to do is unwrap the platters and that everything would be labeled so I’d know where to set it.
Anyway, wedding day rolls around. Even though I was not asked to be a part of the bridal party, Emily invited me to get ready with them. The wedding was 3 hours from where I live, so I got there in time to get ready but couldn’t help out much. The house was chaotic and crowded.
The mother of the bride and one of the sisters/bridesmaids were in the kitchen food prepping the appetizers, not yet dressed an hour before the ceremony was set to begin. It was a mess and things didn’t look prepared at all, but I figured most of the appetizers were ready, maybe stored in the refrigerator or something.
Then we headed to the church. I drove with the bride, Emily. She started talking about what she expected me to do as MC… but was basically describing a wedding day-of coordinator. According to her, I was supposed to be the person everyone comes to for help or instructions.
I was supposed to log into her Google and print out her vows, tell the flower girls and ring bearers when to depart during the processional, hold onto the ring, all on top of getting the appetizers out. I’m not a confrontational person, so I agreed.
We got to the venue and basically all hell broke loose. People were directed to me but I knew absolutely nothing. I wasn’t a bridesmaid and was 0% involved in planning this wedding.
I didn’t know Emily’s Google password to print her vows and couldn’t find her to ask, flower girls were crying, photographer was asking me where father of the bride was for the first look, father of the bride was asking me where he needed to be, the pastor/officiant was asking me questions… SO MUCH STRESS.
When the processional was over (thank God it went smoothly) I breathed a huge sigh of relief. All I needed to do now was go into the fridge and unwrap the appetizers.
I go to the church kitchen. NOTHING WAS PREPARED. Not only was nothing on platters, THE APPETIZERS WEREN’T EVEN MADE. Single handedly I started running, ripping apart boxes of crackers, slicing cheese, washing fruit, trying to find napkins and plates and platters, stressing TF OUT and probably scaring the hell out of my unborn baby in the process.
I got my husband’s help (he had volunteered to be an usher but was busy instead helping me). I had to fill up the beverage dispensers, set up the tablecloths, and arrange everything in a matter of 25 minutes.
We got it done, but tears were shed and I missed the WHOLE FRICKEN CEREMONY except for the 5 second “you may kiss the bride” that I ran out to see. Emily’s other sister/bridesmaid witnessed me freaking out and instead of helping said some pseudo-encouragements about “being an MC is hard…”
This whole time I’m thinking, WTF? Do these people not know what a Master of Ceremony is? The MC is essentially the microphone person who announces the entrance of the bride and groom, speeches, first dance, etc. That’s it.
Btw, I also killed it as the MC and my speech went off smoothly (though after that I stopped believing many of the nice things I said about my friend).
After all this, I got no “thank-you,” no “I’m sorry,” no acknowledgment or recognition of how I basically held her whole wedding together at the expense of my mental health and my months-pregnant condition.
Because of my friend’s ignorance/abuse toward me, I hold a lot of resentment towards her. I try not to think about it much because we’ve largely drifted apart with the years (not for my lack of trying - she doesn’t bother to respond to texts/calls). Just for the cherry on top, she missed my son’s baptism which was at the same church her wedding was held at in her hometown.
Anyway, that was a load off. Never agreeing to help with a wedding ever again. Ttfn!
That’s some bs- your “friend” used you. She didn’t do her job as the bride then blamed you for it not working out. What a b-
What the… so she just threw you into the deep end, knowing you had nothing to do with the planning etc..
Is she normally this scatter brained? I find this behavior so bizarre.
It’s a mixed bag. She was notoriously unreliable at showing up to commitments and never was a good communicator (or she just didn’t give a rip). But other times she was thoughtful and wanted to make others feel special on their birthdays, etc.
She was also pregnant leading up to the wedding (why they got married when they did), and had a very tough first trimester physically. But she should have either scaled the wedding down more or asked for help MUCH more in advance. Seriously, if I weren’t there to smooth things over, it would’ve seemed like the most thrown together shotgun wedding ever…
I think this crosses over from “kind” into “doormat” territory unfortunately. OP should definitely at least have called the bride out on this after the wedding.
I admire bluntness. Trying to be more that way but I’m too much of a people-pleaser.
You agreed to log in to her Google but didn't ask for her password?
I did, the password she gave didn’t work lol. So stressful.