Woman's jeweler wife discovers the truth about sister's '$50K' engagement ring; AITA?

If you discover that your sister's expensive diamond engagement ring is a cheap phony, do you let her live in ignorant bliss or do you tell her the truth and shatter her diamond-studded delusion?

So, when a conflicted sister decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole,' about her sister's faux engagement ring, people were quick to help deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling my sister that her engagement ring was cheap?

I [F26] have a wife Katie [F26]. I have a younger sister Lydia [F22] who got engaged to her fiancé Seth [M24] around a month ago.

Seth's family is pretty well-off, his parents both work in the business sector and can afford a very lavish lifestyle. Although Seth has a decent job, his parents send him money regularly. He proposed to Lydia with a ring that they both constantly brag about, bragging about how expensive it is. Seth claims the ring is worth about $50k.

Katie is a jeweler and has been one for a long time, so Lydia asked if she could clean and polish the ring as a favor. Katie agreed. She told me later in private that the ring is made of cheap materials, and is worth no more than $30. After a long conversation we decided it would be best if I told Lydia.

I talked to Lydia in private and explained to her as gently as possible that Katie had a good look at the ring and that it is definitely not worth the amount of money that Seth said it was. Lydia was shocked. She said Seth must have been scammed by whoever he bought the ring off of.

Lydia later talked to Seth. I wasn't there for the conversation but apparently Seth knew the ring was cheap and was hoping Lydia wouldn't find this out. Lydia ended up calling off the engagement, and is currently staying with a friend and not talking to Seth.

My parents are furious with me and Katie and are accusing us of sabotaging my sister's relationship, and said we should've minded our own business. They said there's unfair pressure on men to spend a lot of money on rings and that we were being selfish.

A lot of our extended family also think we're the villains, so I'm wondering if what we did was the right thing.

Later, she edited the post to include more details:

Edit: Lydia wanted the ring cleaned and polished as she had a photoshoot planned. Lydia isn't mad at me or Katie for telling her, she's just very upset that Seth lied to her.

Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this family diamond drama. Here's what people had to say:

[deleted] said:

The fact that Seth lied and said the ring was worth 50K and it was actually worth $30 is the key here- he lied when he didn't have to. Repeatedly, from the sounds of it. It's not about the ring, it's about dishonesty and trust. It's about character and honor. NTA, she needed to know that he was lying to her.

equimot said:

Absolutely NTA its said it's not about the price of the ring it's the fact he lied repeatedly AND was happy to keep lying. I used to work in a jewelers and where I'm from $30 wouldn't even get you a sterling silver ring with a large cubic zirconia in it.

So if the ring was that cheap it was only a matter of time before the truth came out as the metal would start to discolour, or her hand would, then if it came out that katie knew all along you guys would be the bad guy again so no win.

mariahajile said:

I'm pretty sure if he'd just told her it cost $30, she wouldn't have cared. getting engaged isn't about the cost of the ring but what it represents. And now I'm curious as to why he only paid that much when he's supposed to be financially secure.

Far_Anteater_256 said:

NTA because Seth lied to her. That is a big, huge, unforgivable deal that doesn't bode well for married life together. Yes, there's advertising pressure on men to buy the most expensive ring ever, but a lot of women don't actually care whether he spends thousands of dollars on an engagement ring or not. Seth could have gotten something reasonably nice that he could afford & been honest with your sister about it. He chose not to.

PopcornandComments said:

Ok, what I want to know is who is his ring dealer and where can I get a $30 ring that looks like a $50K ring?

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this sister and her wife did the right thing by telling the truth about the cheap ring. Eventually she would've found out when her finger turns rusty green and the plastic diamond melts in the sun. Good luck, everyone.