Bride tells sister to babysit all the kids at her wedding; says, 'you're a teacher.'
Teachers are truly the unsung heroes of the world.
We ask a lot of them and for very little compensation. One kindergarten teacher was shocked when it was assumed that she would be on the clock at her own sister's wedding.
"AITA for not wanting to watch a group of kids at my sister’s wedding?"
I (f25) am a Kindergarten teacher I've been teaching for 4 years now and even though It can be exhausting I overall love my job. My sister (f30) is getting married in 2 weeks. My about-to-be brother-in-law has a sister who lost her husband 6 months ago and has twin daughters (5).
I offered to watch the twins during the reception so she can hopefully have some fun. I know the twins and they're overall well behave so I seriously didn't mind if that meant BIL’s sister can have some fun after losing her husband and becoming a single mom 6 months ago.
Today I was talking to my sister and I found out my sister told several of her friends I can watch their kids during the reception. I asked why did she say that.
She said 'well since you're a teacher and watching BIL sister’s twins, I figured you wouldn't mind.' I told her I do mind and she better tells her friends to either take their kids and watch them themselves or start looking for a babysitter because that is not what I am.
My sister went all bridezilla and started calling me a selfish AH and accusing me of not liking my job because I can't handle a group of kids for a few hours. It's not that I don't like my job I actually love my job I just rather not watch a group of kids I don't know. So AITA?
Here was the reaction the OP's post receive:
NTA. You didn’t offer to be a babysitter. You offered to watch a pair of twins you know.
NTA that was incredibly presumptuous of her to volunteer you for that without asking you first. Would she like to do her profession for free for x number of hours for a bunch of your friends?
NTA. And unless you babysit on the side, why is everyone saying your job is a nanny. You’re a teacher.
Dunno about where OP lives, but in my state, a kindergarten teacher is exactly that... a teacher. Same educational and licensing/certification requirements as other teachers up to grade 4.
In fact, in my state, a large majority of even early elementary teachers have a masters and not just a bachelors. Teaching at grade 5 and above requires it. Many that prefer the younger grades still get it just to be more competitive and flexible.
And even if OP does babysit on the side, it was rude of OPs sister to volunTOLD her into the role for her friends.
If sister really wants her friends to be able to have fun without leaving the kids at home, time for her to add a paid (non-family/friend) babysitter to the wedding budget. OP is NTA.
NTA so every relative who is a hair dresser has to do everyone's hair, every policeman has to do security, every bar tender has to work the bar, every waitress has to wait tables, every seamstress has to make the dress, every taxi driver has to ferry everyone in a mini bus to the event, every doctor has to be sober and be on stand by etc.
Either you are a guest at her wedding, or you are being paid as a child minder. She needs to make her mind up. But you were very foolish to offer your service, you were 'asking for it' to be piled on.
NTA. This is the perfect example of the old saying give an inch and they take a mile. Also “no good deed goes unpunished” comes to mind. Instead of being grateful for the very generous offer of watching 5 year old twins, your sister has become greedy.
Do not back down on this. Actually, you should take it to the next level. Reach out to all of her friends and family members who she’s so graciously offered you up as a free babysitter and let them know ASAP that there was a miscommunication, and that you are not available to watch anyone’s children besides the twins, that you previously agreed to.
I taught for grades K-12 (music) for 34 years and loved my job. I absolutely would not volunteer to watch kids on my free time. I was a paid professional, not a babysitter. This is a hill to die on or you will find yourself being volunteered like this again.
I disagree with other posters about demanding payment. Don’t do it, even if your price is so outrageous they’d never pay it. You can never send the message that you are anything less than the professional you are. We get enough disrespect already. NTA.