Work

Does a person with kids deserve more time off than a person who doesn&#39;t? That&#39;s the core conflict of this latest coworker beef posted on Reddit&#39;s <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/sbwnxe/aita_for_telling_my_coworker_that_my_personal/">Am I the As*hole</a> page.This woman thinks so, but her coworker definitely does not agree. Now she&#39;s on the internet asking:<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/sbwnxe/aita_for_telling_my_coworker_that_my_personal/" style="font-family: BlinkMacSystemFont, -apple-system, &quot;Segoe UI&quot;, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, &quot;Fira Sans&quot;, &quot;Droid Sans&quot;, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.35em; letter-spacing: -0.02em;">AITA</a><span style="color: rgb(74, 74, 74); font-family: BlinkMacSystemFont, -apple-system, &quot;Segoe UI&quot;, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, &quot;Fira Sans&quot;, &quot;Droid Sans&quot;, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.35em; font-weight: 600; letter-spacing: -0.02em;"> (Am I the As*hole) for telling my coworker that my personal out-of-work activities are as important as her kids&#39;?She writes:<blockquote> I am a married 36-year-old woman with no plans to have kids. I recently had an issue with a coworker where our boss emailed her/I to ask if one of us could cover an evening call (it&#39;s a 9-5 job but we occasionally have evening calls due to collaborators in different time zones). </blockquote><blockquote> The coworker asked me to do it because her son had a soccer game, but I said that I can&#39;t do it because I had a volleyball game. She said that I should do it because the soccer game is for her kid and my volleyball game is just for me. </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> I said that respectfully my outside-of-work commitments are not less important than hers because I don&#39;t have children, and that she should take the call because I had taken the last two. </blockquote><blockquote> She scoffed at me, and I know that other people around the office have been gossiping about me since and saying that it was super messed up that I made her miss her kid&#39;s soccer game. </blockquote><blockquote> I think that it&#39;s incredibly important to support working mothers. I am always more than happy to accommodate the schedules of the mothers I work with when it doesn&#39;t cause a significant inconvenience to me - for example, some coworkers leave early to pick up their kids (our company is great about that), and I&#39;m happy to work project schedules around that. </blockquote><blockquote> I also would have taken that call if I hadn&#39;t had a conflict as long as it wasn&#39;t a pattern of me taking significantly more evening calls. </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> I talked to a friend about this (who is a mother), and she said that I should have just done it because people who don&#39;t have kids really should have more empathy for working parents and we don&#39;t understand how hard it is. </blockquote><blockquote> I said respectfully that I do understand that working mothers have much more stressful lives than I do, which is why I decided not to be a mother. </blockquote><blockquote> I also said that I can have respect and empathy for working mothers and also value my time/ choices equally. She similarly scoffed and said that I don&#39;t understand. AITA here? </blockquote>No one will argue that having kids and working full time is hard and demanding work, but that&#39;s why some people choose not to go down that road. Do you agree that people with kids deserve to work better hours than people who don&#39;t?<div className="ad-splitter"></div>The replies flooded in from both working moms and the childfree, and they all pretty much agree that free time is important and necessary no matter what your family is like. Maybe the management is the real a-hole here for pitting these coworkers against each other?<a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DuckInMyHeart/">DuckInMyHeart</a> writes:<blockquote> NTA </blockquote><blockquote> OP: I&rsquo;m a parent, and I believe very strongly that your time off is just as valuable as mine. Don&rsquo;t share your reasons, just say &ldquo;I have a prior commitment that I&rsquo;m unable to break.&rdquo; </blockquote><blockquote> Don&rsquo;t tell them what, it&rsquo;s absolutely none of their business. It doesn&rsquo;t matter if the prior commitment is a volleyball game, a family get together, or just watching tv alone to de stress. </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> If you&rsquo;re both unavailable, it should be management&rsquo;s problem to handle. </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/fns1981/">fns1981</a> gives the mom POV:<blockquote> Mom of 4 chiming in. You&#39;re NTA. I would GLADLY miss a game or two to let my co-worker blow off steam at her volleyball game. </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/shopgirl2/">shopgirl2</a> says:<blockquote> Boss needs to stop asking who is willing to take the call and start putting in a rotation of who takes the next late night. </blockquote><blockquote> It&#39;s then no longer about who does/doesn&#39;t have kids and who is deemed to have the more important life . There is a schedule and everyone sticks to the schedule. Done. NTA </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PoelyRN/">PoelyRN</a> agrees:<blockquote> In a former nursing job, I was told that I was assigned to cover a series of overnight shifts because, &ldquo;you don&rsquo;t have kids and you&rsquo;re not married so it&rsquo;s easier for you.&rdquo; </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> Doesn&rsquo;t mean I don&rsquo;t have a life nor is my time any less valuable. </blockquote><blockquote> Throughout my professional career, I&rsquo;ve had to pick up so much slack to cover for people with children. I don&rsquo;t mind doing my fair share and helping out, but don&rsquo;t penalize me either. </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/laughingsbetter/">laughingsbetter</a> says:<blockquote> NTA - it should be a rotation. Having kids is not a get out of crummy work free card. </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Tushfeathers/">Tushfeathers</a> writes:<blockquote> Oh no, whatever does one do without children? when I get asked this or told that my time off is not as important as a parents time off, I get really angry. I am a human being and work my butt off, my employer is not entitled to my time beyond my scheduled work hours. </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> Pets, hobbies, and just plain doing nothing are all acceptable reasons to not be forced to work extra because someone else fills their outside work hours with kids. </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Athena2560/">Athena2560</a> has been there:<blockquote> Pissed me off when I was single and newly married. Like, if I don&rsquo;t have my contractual time off, when am I supposed to start one? </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Slugdirt/">Slugdirt</a> writes:<blockquote> NTA I love it when people say &quot;but you don&#39;t have a family&quot; as tho people were hatched from pods. Having children isn&#39;t a free pass to get out of things you&#39;d prefer not to do. </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Childless woman asks if she's wrong for not covering shift of coworker with kids.

Does a person with kids deserve more time off than a person who doesn&#39;t? That&#39;s the core conflict of this latest coworker beef posted on Reddit&#39;s Am I the As*hole page.This woman thinks so, but her coworker definitely does not agree. Now she&#39;s on the internet asking:AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling my coworker that my personal out-of-work activities are as important as her kids&#39;?She writes: I am a married 36-year-old woman with no plans to have kids. I recently had an issue with a coworker where our boss emailed her/I to ask if one of us could cover an evening call (it&#39;s a 9-5 job but we occasionally have evening calls due to collaborators in different time zones).  The coworker asked me to do it because her son had a soccer game, but I said that I can&#39;t do it because I had a volleyball game. She said that I should do it because the soccer game is for her kid and my volleyball game is just for me.  I said that respectfully my outside-of-work commitments are not less important than hers because I don&#39;t have children, and that she should take the call because I had taken the last two.  She scoffed at me, and I know that other people around the office have been gossiping about me since and saying that it was super messed up that I made her miss her kid&#39;s soccer game.  I think that it&#39;s incredibly important to support working mothers. I am always more than happy to accommodate the schedules of the mothers I work with when it doesn&#39;t cause a significant inconvenience to me - for example, some coworkers leave early to pick up their kids (our company is great about that), and I&#39;m happy to work project schedules around that.  I also would have taken that call if I hadn&#39;t had a conflict as long as it wasn&#39;t a pattern of me taking significantly more evening calls.  I talked to a friend about this (who is a mother), and she said that I should have just done it because people who don&#39;t have kids really should have more empathy for working parents and we don&#39;t understand how hard it is.  I said respectfully that I do understand that working mothers have much more stressful lives than I do, which is why I decided not to be a mother.  I also said that I can have respect and empathy for working mothers and also value my time/ choices equally. She similarly scoffed and said that I don&#39;t understand. AITA here? No one will argue that having kids and working full time is hard and demanding work, but that&#39;s why some people choose not to go down that road. Do you agree that people with kids deserve to work better hours than people who don&#39;t?The replies flooded in from both working moms and the childfree, and they all pretty much agree that free time is important and necessary no matter what your family is like. Maybe the management is the real a-hole here for pitting these coworkers against each other?DuckInMyHeart writes: NTA  OP: I&rsquo;m a parent, and I believe very strongly that your time off is just as valuable as mine. Don&rsquo;t share your reasons, just say &ldquo;I have a prior commitment that I&rsquo;m unable to break.&rdquo;  Don&rsquo;t tell them what, it&rsquo;s absolutely none of their business. It doesn&rsquo;t matter if the prior commitment is a volleyball game, a family get together, or just watching tv alone to de stress.  If you&rsquo;re both unavailable, it should be management&rsquo;s problem to handle. fns1981 gives the mom POV: Mom of 4 chiming in. You&#39;re NTA. I would GLADLY miss a game or two to let my co-worker blow off steam at her volleyball game. shopgirl2 says: Boss needs to stop asking who is willing to take the call and start putting in a rotation of who takes the next late night.  It&#39;s then no longer about who does/doesn&#39;t have kids and who is deemed to have the more important life . There is a schedule and everyone sticks to the schedule. Done. NTA PoelyRN agrees: In a former nursing job, I was told that I was assigned to cover a series of overnight shifts because, &ldquo;you don&rsquo;t have kids and you&rsquo;re not married so it&rsquo;s easier for you.&rdquo;  Doesn&rsquo;t mean I don&rsquo;t have a life nor is my time any less valuable.   Throughout my professional career, I&rsquo;ve had to pick up so much slack to cover for people with children. I don&rsquo;t mind doing my fair share and helping out, but don&rsquo;t penalize me either. laughingsbetter says: NTA - it should be a rotation. Having kids is not a get out of crummy work free card. Tushfeathers writes: Oh no, whatever does one do without children? when I get asked this or told that my time off is not as important as a parents time off, I get really angry. I am a human being and work my butt off, my employer is not entitled to my time beyond my scheduled work hours.  Pets, hobbies, and just plain doing nothing are all acceptable reasons to not be forced to work extra because someone else fills their outside work hours with kids. Athena2560 has been there: Pissed me off when I was single and newly married. Like, if I don&rsquo;t have my contractual time off, when am I supposed to start one? Slugdirt writes: NTA I love it when people say &quot;but you don&#39;t have a family&quot; as tho people were hatched from pods. Having children isn&#39;t a free pass to get out of things you&#39;d prefer not to do. 

Does a person with kids deserve more time off than a person who doesn&#39;t? That&#39;s the core conflict of this latest coworker beef posted on Reddit&#39;s Am I the As*hole page.  This woman thinks so, but her coworker definitely does...