Work

22 people answer the question: 'what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen happen at work?'

We spend approximately %150 of our lives at work (feel free to double-check my math, but that&#39;s how it feels). So statistically it makes sense that some of the weirdest things to happen in life will take place during work hours. On the bright side: if you&#39;re going to have awkward, uncomfortable and surreal experiences, you may as well get paid for them!Someone asked Reddit: &quot;what&rsquo;s the weirdest thing you&rsquo;ve ever seen happen at work?&quot; Here are 22 people sharing the most &quot;WTF?!&quot; experiences that ever happened to them on-the-clock:1.) From Greystreet21: While working at a supermarket, I was walking through the dairy department and saw a fellow employee over by the eggs. As I got closer I could see him with a carton open and he seemed to be turning each egg. After doing the whole pack, I asked him what he was doing and he responded, &ldquo;the manager asked me to rotate the eggs.&rdquo; I facepalmed and explained what they actually meant, to which he replied, &ldquo;that makes a lot more sense.&rdquo; For context, in the grocery world, to rotate means to make sure the earliest dates of expiration are towards the front of the shelf. 2.) From DeeMountain: One guy did a spicy wing challenge at lunch. Later that afternoon he was on the floor of his cubicle moaning and crying and saying Fuck so many times (Very loudly) We tried to call an ambulance but he was adamant that he was going to be fine. 3.) From Ajoc27: In a creche/daycare. One of the moms dropped off her baby &amp; when handing him to one of the staff she kissed the staff member on the face and said &quot;love you&quot; and went off to work. Phoned a couple hours later to say &quot;I&#39;ve just realised what I did this morning. I&#39;m so sorry, I was half asleep and I guess I&#39;m so used to handing him to my husband&quot; we had a good laugh 4.) From jac0bk: I work in a kindergarden for kids with special needs. One kid kept going for a quiet place few times a day, and we figured he just needed some time alone. This was outside in the playground where there was a little treehouse in the back behind some trees. On the third day of this happening I went to see what&#39;s up and encourage him to talk about why he needed time alone. I found him sitting on the ground eating one big spoon full of sand after the other. We&#39;re not just talking baby eating sand here - more like a medium sized kid shoveling sand down his stomach like it was his favourite food. So yeah this little boy probably ate A LOT of sand during those three days and probably longer. He&#39;s fine now - 2. Grader now - kicked me in the butt when I saw him in a grocery store a week ago. 5.) From XyloArch: Worked at big outdoor activities centre a few summers, there&#39;s lots of behind-the-scenes areas where the public can&#39;t see. Saw a new guy (who was definitely some friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend &#39;favour&#39; hire from someone higher up) not know where the toilets were so just take a shit in a hedge behind scenes (I found him mid-shit). He proceeded to makes really crude moves on all the women and I later found him receiving a blow job from a guy in the same hedge. He was asked to leave. 6.) From Early2000sRnB: When I had an internship in an office, the second highest boss opened the door without knocking, stared at us aggressively, walked towards us and offered a box of chocolate marshmallows. Then he went out. He didn&#39;t say one word. 7.) From DeadSheepLane: I watched the neighbor get caught by her husband mid-cheat. This was the last home hospice job I did. The clients bedroom was at the back of the house and had a large window that faced the front of the neighbors across a dirt road. We were sitting mid morning drinking a cups and watching the birds in the low hedge when we saw a naked man suddenly sprint across the side yard into the old garage followed by the just as naked wife and a few seconds later the husband. Lot of screaming follows then the naked man took off across the field and disappeared into the orchard. Several minutes pass before we see the wife dash over to her car, still naked, get in and drive off. My client, who was quite a spitfire of a lady her entire life, turned to me very deadpan and said &ldquo;I&rsquo;m glad I lived long enough to see that&rdquo;. We didn&rsquo;t stop laughing the rest of the day. 8.) From Jaydeeem89: I work in an office and thought it would be funny to put googly eyes on my coworkers desk one day. Everyone had a good laugh over it and a couple weeks I found googly eyes on all my stuff. It became a game of who could arrange googlys on peoples desk in the most creative/funny manner. It was hilarious.. Then one of the adjacent departments caught wind of the good times we were having and started doing the same. Cue a month later and there are fucking googly eyes EVERYWHERE. It was absurd. On the drinking fountains, clocks, vending machines, garbage cans, toilets, you name it, there were googly eyes littered all over the goddamn place. The custodians started complaining that they couldnt keep up with the mess. Visiting customers would look around at the googly spectacle in disbelief of the unprofessionalism. The head managers had to hold team meetings to talk to all the teams about removing all googly eyes.. and of course since I started it, any time a rogue googly eye popped up months later, I got a stern look from my boss. The day that I quit there (or get fired, more likely), there will be an unleashing of googly eyes that will be unrivalled. People will be fucking swimming through piles of googly eyes just to get to their completely googly eye covered desks. The vents will be spitting out plastic eyeballs of all shapes and sizes. People will open their lunches they brought from home and gasp in shock as they find nothing but little beady shaky eyes looking up from their tupperware. There. Will. Be. GOOGLY EYES. 9.) From StylishSuidae: I actually wrote up a whole encounter with my strange russian coworker the other day, but I can&#39;t get to tumblr on my work computer. My weirdest counter with him though was I had to go into the lab during lunch and he was in there:   with all the lights off   wearing nothing but an undershirt   lifting a single weight   with Let&#39;s Grove by Earth, Wind, and Fire at full volume playing from his computer.   Also his desk neighbor has had to make one of his monitors vertical because Igor will change at his desk in the middle of the office. Edit: I&#39;ve added below the tumblr post I wrote about him I&rsquo;m sure many of you are familiar with John Mulaney&rsquo;s ducklings bit. Today I&rsquo;d like to tell you all about the Henry J. Finch of my workplace. He&rsquo;s a small old Russian man named Igor. Normally I change people&rsquo;s names when I tell stories about them on the internet. However, given this guy is literally a Soviet era Russian named Igor, it would be a disservice to the story to tell it any other way. Ridiculous shit happens with him all the time, [story from above]. But today, I want to recount just what happened in a single software review with this guy. It started out great when he showed up half an hour late to an hour long meeting because he didn&rsquo;t realize that we were having our weekly software review at the same time on the same day that we always have it. The department manager asked him where he was, and he said &ldquo;in a machine diving&rdquo;. Now Igor has a very thick Russian accent, so it&rsquo;s reasonable to assume that you misunderstood something when what he said doesn&rsquo;t make sense; and we work on non-aquatic trains, so diving really doesn&rsquo;t make sense. The department manager asked &ldquo;driving?&rdquo; and Igor said &ldquo;no, diving!&rdquo; and mimed swimming. The department manager decided to leave that one alone. A few minutes later we were talking about having to send someone up to Richmond to meet with a company there. Igor interrupted everyone to say &ldquo;Richmond is the capital of Virginia&rdquo;. And y&#39;know what? He&rsquo;s right. It sure is. Eventually we got to reviewing his tasks, and every single one was on the backlog save one, which was on hold. He wasn&rsquo;t actively working on any of them. And only one of them had a projected end date: February 28, 2022. Now I know that most people aren&rsquo;t software engineers, so let me explain that these tasks should usually be anywhere from a day to a week, maybe a month if it&rsquo;s a really big one. Not 25 months. But this kind of thing is normal for Igor so let&rsquo;s move on to the next thing. He croaked. It sounded just like a frog. He opened the corner of his mouth and croaked. And absolutely nobody acknowledged it. A few minutes later someone asked who the cube avatar was. Every person in this system has an avatar that shows up on all of their tasks so that you can tell who each task is assigned to. Since the mine was the cube avatar I let the asker know, then Igor perked up and said &ldquo;A cube! Square on all sides!&rdquo; Then he let out a slight chuckle and settled back down in his seat, and continued &ldquo;born perfectly&hellip;&rdquo; All of this took place inside the half hour that he was actually in the meeting, and barely any of it was acknowledge by the more senior employees. 10.) From Sarcastrophe49: I used to be a movie theater manager in college. One night, I was preparing the next projector for showing (on a 35mm camera, so no digital), and I looked into the auditorium that I thought was empty and saw a guy receiving a handjob from a girl. But this was no regular handjob: the dude was stroking each of her right foot toes individually in a precise rhyhtm with the girl stroking him. He had a very efficient lotion-application system for her toes where he would squeeze lotion onto one toe while he stroked the next toe, never missing a beat (or a toe). Clarence Carter would&#39;ve been proud of this stroking efficiency (see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7gMkiOPSeA). Upon seeing this, I did what any responsible manager would do: I called the other manager up from the box office to assess the situation. He confirmed that this man was receiving a handjob while toe stroking and we laughed so hard we thought that they heard us. At this point, I&#39;m guessing they had been stroking each other for at least 13 minutes, so I figured that the guy was probably close to climaxing soon. So, I turned the overhead house lights in the auditorium on and off a few times. The guy stood straight up, hit his erect penis on the cup holder while turning, pulled up his pants quickly, and ran down the stairs and out of the exit door leading directly outside to the parking lot. Bro straight up left his girl there. She eventually left, too, and I never saw them again. 11.) From Benjaminbuttcrack: I worked the cameras at a casino and there was a kid (old enough to drink) who was given a free room to stay in because he was about to drive drunk. Instead of taking the room, he checked in, walked out the back exit, ran down a hill, ran full speed along the highway, army crawled his way up to his car, got in, drove off the parking lot, and was pulled over immediately. 12.) From ostentia: It was a really slow day and I kept getting distracted from the Lord of the Rings fanfiction I was reading by the weird squeaky noises I kept hearing behind me. I finally turned around and there was my manager, a 35 year old man, about 3/4 of the way done with making a balloon animal crown for his life-sized Homer Simpson statue. I asked him to make me a doggie when I was done, and he did--a blue one. I kept it until I accidentally popped it, which scared the shit out of one of my other coworkers. 13.) From justalurkerkthxbai: One Monday morning, at 8AM, there was a frog in the lobby. Not a small frog, either--a big frog. The front doors were still locked and it was Monday morning, so we had no idea how the little guy got into the lobby. He would&#39;ve had to have hopped all the way from the back of the building to get to the lobby. 14.) From Tall_Mickey: This was in the &#39;80s at a bad software company run entirely by men. Wonder of wonders, an extremely competent and popular woman programmer was appointed to a management position in Development. The younger developers decided to have a parade. She was of Scandinavian descent, so they made for her a horned helmet and sword out of aluminum foil, and made for her a sedan chair out of a wooden chair with a couple of pieces of lumber under the arms for support. Then they carried her outside on the chair while she waved her &quot;sword,&quot; and paraded her around the parking lot at the head of a long column of programmers wearing fish hats and throwing firecrackers. I never understood the fish hats. Edit: And kazoo music. I forgot that. Those were the days... 15.) From sugarthnder: Was at technical school, but I had that friend who was setting up a firewall for schools of the region. It meant that he had to check if porn sites were blocked, they were not. Most striking is having my friend and our teacher behind him looking at porn sites during class. The good old days... 16.) ​​​​​​From raven_darkseid: I worked in a small office. There was a front lobby area with a conference room off to the side. It was separated by a door from the rest of the office. So I&#39;m sitting at my desk, just working, and I hear screaming from the front lobby area, like straight up someone is being murdered screaming. Everyone in the office area is freaking out, assuming there was a robbery or something horrible happening in the front. I hear someone shrieking for help, so I&#39;m like okay this is clearly not a dangerous situation, it must be a medical emergency or something like that. I tell one of my coworkers to call 911. I proceed to open the door quietly and walk towards the lobby. I do not see anyone, even the receptionist, but the screaming is still going on from inside the conference room. I slowly open the door and find about 8 people on top of the table, including the owners of the company and a couple clients. I&#39;m just staring at them, seriously confused about what I just walked into. I look down and see a tiny little field mouse hopping around in circles around the table. I picked the little guy up and became the hero of the day. 911 dispatched a couple of police officers over a tiny mouse. My raise that year was substantially higher than usual. 17.) From AbortRetryImplode: Work in a small university department that&#39;s not related to anything medical at all. Someone left four vials of blood (like the sealed kind from a phlebotomy lab) in our lost and found. Had someone leave a flier on our departmental billboard that was, as far as we could tell, for a Nazi cosplay orgy....which now that I&#39;ve typed it would probably be an interesting band name. And the semester isn&#39;t over until you&#39;ve happened across a homeless person furiously jacking off in public. Weird shit happens on college campuses. 18.) From GOAT188: A large heavy set man falling down a set of stairs what seemed to be in slow motion and once he got to bottom he screamed MY BALLS! Then he got up, picked up what ever fried snack he was eating and casually walked away as if it never happened. 19.) From dried_up_waterparks: I work in downtown Toronto. My job requires that I go to those high end consultancy firms every once and awhile. The big names. You&#39;d know them. One morning I was walking into the building for an all day meeting. Normal fall day. Cold. The lobby was beautiful as always. Chandelier. Big glass windows. As I headed over the elevators I looked towards a commotion at the door. A well groomed, middle aged, man was screaming at the top of his lungs by the revolving door. Naked. Totally. Naked. His suit was neatly folded on a bench and he had just lost it. Apparently he was a partner at this firm and the stress got to him. He just... Snapped. 20.) From gabezermeno: Our office shares a bathroom with the Dental office next door. The densist is a weirdo. I&#39;ll walk in and he will jump like he was doing something he wasn&#39;t supposed to. There are other things but he comes off as slimy. (Drugs. He&#39;s doing drugs.)21.) ​​​​​​​From firenamedgabe: Was in a big meeting in a construction trailer and answer a knock on the door. Two guys look like a coupes laborers, dirty clothes shirts have contractor names on them. Ask for a guy with a picture on a cell phone and name a company that&rsquo;s onsite. It&rsquo;s a large site with a couple hundred workers no way for me to know. Say I can go get their foreman from the meeting. At this point one very discreetly pulls a US Marshals badge out of his front pocket. Tells me to get the foreman but not to make any disturbances. The guy they&rsquo;re looking fire moves drugs, and apparently also finishes Sheetrock for fun I guess. Says they&rsquo;ve got the five acre site surrounded and if this guy finds out they&rsquo;re here things would go bad quickly. Turns out the guy wasn&rsquo;t there but still pretty weird. 22.) ​​​​​​​From HuhWhatQue: Two things come to mind from when I worked at department store in college: - A woman came into the store, went through the perfume aisle, took a few bottles into the layaway storage room, and drank them. This was all right before closing, maybe 10 minutes, or so. Watching this on camera was one of the funniest things I&#39;ve ever seen. - Some dude came in strumming a banjo as he followed his SO around as she shopped. I, and all of my coworkers, searched for someone with a camera to see if it was some sort of gag, but nope. Dude just walked the aisles with his girl playing the banjo to keep himself occupied. 

We spend approximately %150 of our lives at work (feel free to double-check my math, but that&#39;s how it feels). So statistically it makes sense that some of the weirdest things to happen in life will take place during work hours. On the...