Work

<p>A server could could be out of a job soon for making a decision on behalf of a customer that they thought was &quot;right.&quot; Because sometimes what seems like the &quot;right&quot; thing to do is not only against the rules, it&#39;s illegal. Life is weird like that.</p><p>In a <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ch3vqi/aita_for_serving_a_pregnant_woman_a_nonalcoholic/" target="_blank">post</a> shared to Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I The A**hole?&quot; page, the server explains their moral dilemma.</p><h2>It began when a group of women in their 20&#39;s entered the server&#39;s restaurant and ordered cocktails. Then the server overheard one of the women say that she&#39;s about 3-and-a-half months pregnant.</h2><blockquote> <p>I have waited tables for the last three years.</p> <p>During my shift last night, a group of four women in their late 20s came in. They were a pleasure to have as customers. They ordered four of our house cocktails to start with and then went over the menu for their entrees.</p> <p>When I was on my way back to their booth with the drinks on a tray, I walked by the back side and overheard one of them talking about how she was 14 weeks along. When I rounded back, they were talking about the same topic and it was clear to me that she was pregnant. I figured her having one drink wasn&#39;t a big deal. They ordered their entrees and I went off to handle other tables.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>It&#39;s pretty common knowledge that drinking excessive alcohol during pregnancy can put both the fetus and the mother in danger, though studies on the dangers of consuming smaller quantities of alcohol yield mixed results. It&#39;s a controversial subject, but many women do drink during pregnancy in moderation. So the server figured &quot;one drink wasn&#39;t a big deal&quot; and went ahead with their job, which is serving the customers what they ordered.</p><h2>But then when the pregnant woman continued to order alcoholic drinks, the server decided to intervene by secretly asking the bartender to make (only) her drinks non-alcoholic.</h2><blockquote> <p>About five minutes later, they called me over again and asked for another round. At this point I started getting concerned, but I took the order and cheerfully said I&#39;d be right back. This time, I went to the bartender, and asked him to make one of them a virgin cocktail. He was confused but since he&#39;s a good friend of mine, I told him to just trust me.</p> </blockquote><h2>The server thought they&#39;d &quot;gotten away with&quot; tricking the pregnant woman into consuming non-alcoholic drinks. Until the check came.</h2><blockquote> <p>A few cocktails later (hers strictly virgin) they started getting rowdy, and Mrs. Pregnant Woman was also getting into it. I figured that since she didn&#39;t notice, things were OK. The problem came when I took them their check, and they asked to split the bill at the register. When Mrs. Pregnant Woman got to the counter, I saw her cocktails were marked with (virgin). My bartender had edited each in the system for inventory.</p> <p>It was too late for me to edit them back, so I just had her pay, hoping that she wouldn&#39;t look at the receipt. They all thanked me and left, leaving a generous tip in the process. They were talking in the parking lot for the next short while, presumably waiting for an Uber.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>After seeing &quot;virgin&quot; written on the receipt next to some of the drinks, the group realized what had happened.</p><h2>The woman returned, furiously demanded her portion of the server&#39;s tip back and reported them to the manager, who was <em>pissed.</em></h2><blockquote> <p>Several minutes later Mrs. Pregnant Woman came back and asked what (virgin) on the receipt meant. I fessed up that it meant non-alcoholic. She blank stared me for a few seconds and then asked if she had ordered a non-alcoholic cocktail. I said no, but told her that I assumed she wanted one seeing as she was pregnant. It was a lame lie and I&#39;ll admit it, but she looked me in the eye and asked me to return her part of the tip. I did so. Then she talked to my manager. My manager took me into her office and literally shrieked at me until hoarse.</p> </blockquote><h2>The server stood their ground, insisting they were in the right because they didn&#39;t want to &quot;be responsible for FAS&quot; (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome).</h2><blockquote> <p>I stood my ground and told her that I&#39;m not going to be responsible for FAS. She told me that she was taking me off the calendar until she decided what to do with me. She also informed me that I could get the restaurant in serious trouble for discrimination, and upon examination of my state&#39;s laws, she is correct.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Turns out, according to state law, what this server did is actually illegal and could get the restaurant in &quot;serious trouble&quot; for &quot;discrimination.&quot;</p><h2>Though the server&#39;s parents &quot;understood&quot; their position (which makes sense, since parents are where many of us get our opinions from in the first place) &quot;the entire staff&quot; of the restaurant is against them.</h2><blockquote> <p>But when I talked to my mother and father about it tonight, they told me that they understood my position. The entire staff at the restaurant is against me and I think that I&#39;m going to call in and tell my manager that I quit, but I still feel in the right here. I would like some perspective on this and if I&#39;m the a**hole here.</p> </blockquote><p>Looks like more than just the restaurant staff thinks the server is the &quot;a**hole&quot; here. The majority of commenters on Reddit are arguing that it was wrong for the server to alter someone&#39;s order without their consent and to make a moral decision on their behalf.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NUTmeSHELL/">NUTmeSHELL</a> says:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Yta [You&#39;re the A**hole]. Unless you saw the woman pee on a pregnancy test, you had no way of knowing for sure that she was pregnant. She could have been talking about someone else, a past pregnancy, or she could be planning to terminate the pregnancy. That wasn&rsquo;t your call to make.</p> </blockquote><p>Many are pointing out that pregnant women have agency over their own bodies and this decision was hers to make. Not the server&#39;s.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TrickyEducationKy/">TrickyEducationKy</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>Even if the OP was sure she was pregnant, it&rsquo;s not their call to make. Pregnant women still have the right to make their own decisions about what to consume.</p> </blockquote><h2>Even if the server&#39;s intentions were &quot;good&quot; that does not make this decision &quot;right.&quot;</h2><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/wasntmebutok/">wasntmebutok</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>YTA here, you made a lot of assumptions about a woman and a situation you don&#39;t know anything about - she might not want to keep it, but ultimately it&#39;s not up to you to decide what she can or can&#39;t put into her body. In my opinion that was a pretty big violation of her freedom of choice. You did it for the right reasons I&#39;ll grant you that, but that doesn&#39;t make what you did right.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Underground_Queen/">Underground_Queen</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>Esh [Everyone Sucks Here] but you had good intentions.</p> <p>She sucks for obvious reasons, you suck because you had no way to prove she was a pregnant, you altered her drink without informing her, and you made a big decision without speaking to your manager.</p> </blockquote><p>&quot;Her body, her choice&quot; is a good rule to live by when it comes to pregnant women. Even if her choice isn&#39;t the one <em>you</em> would make.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Server could lose job for secretly serving pregnant customer's cocktails without alcohol.

A server could could be out of a job soon for making a decision on behalf of a customer that they thought was &quot;right.&quot; Because sometimes what seems like the &quot;right&quot; thing to do is not only against the rules, it&#39;s illegal. Life is weird like that.In a post shared to Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I The A**hole?&quot; page, the server explains their moral dilemma.It began when a group of women in their 20&#39;s entered the server&#39;s restaurant and ordered cocktails. Then the server overheard one of the women say that she&#39;s about 3-and-a-half months pregnant. I have waited tables for the last three years. During my shift last night, a group of four women in their late 20s came in. They were a pleasure to have as customers. They ordered four of our house cocktails to start with and then went over the menu for their entrees. When I was on my way back to their booth with the drinks on a tray, I walked by the back side and overheard one of them talking about how she was 14 weeks along. When I rounded back, they were talking about the same topic and it was clear to me that she was pregnant. I figured her having one drink wasn&#39;t a big deal. They ordered their entrees and I went off to handle other tables. It&#39;s pretty common knowledge that drinking excessive alcohol during pregnancy can put both the fetus and the mother in danger, though studies on the dangers of consuming smaller quantities of alcohol yield mixed results. It&#39;s a controversial subject, but many women do drink during pregnancy in moderation. So the server figured &quot;one drink wasn&#39;t a big deal&quot; and went ahead with their job, which is serving the customers what they ordered.But then when the pregnant woman continued to order alcoholic drinks, the server decided to intervene by secretly asking the bartender to make (only) her drinks non-alcoholic. About five minutes later, they called me over again and asked for another round. At this point I started getting concerned, but I took the order and cheerfully said I&#39;d be right back. This time, I went to the bartender, and asked him to make one of them a virgin cocktail. He was confused but since he&#39;s a good friend of mine, I told him to just trust me. The server thought they&#39;d &quot;gotten away with&quot; tricking the pregnant woman into consuming non-alcoholic drinks. Until the check came. A few cocktails later (hers strictly virgin) they started getting rowdy, and Mrs. Pregnant Woman was also getting into it. I figured that since she didn&#39;t notice, things were OK. The problem came when I took them their check, and they asked to split the bill at the register. When Mrs. Pregnant Woman got to the counter, I saw her cocktails were marked with (virgin). My bartender had edited each in the system for inventory. It was too late for me to edit them back, so I just had her pay, hoping that she wouldn&#39;t look at the receipt. They all thanked me and left, leaving a generous tip in the process. They were talking in the parking lot for the next short while, presumably waiting for an Uber. After seeing &quot;virgin&quot; written on the receipt next to some of the drinks, the group realized what had happened.The woman returned, furiously demanded her portion of the server&#39;s tip back and reported them to the manager, who was pissed. Several minutes later Mrs. Pregnant Woman came back and asked what (virgin) on the receipt meant. I fessed up that it meant non-alcoholic. She blank stared me for a few seconds and then asked if she had ordered a non-alcoholic cocktail. I said no, but told her that I assumed she wanted one seeing as she was pregnant. It was a lame lie and I&#39;ll admit it, but she looked me in the eye and asked me to return her part of the tip. I did so. Then she talked to my manager. My manager took me into her office and literally shrieked at me until hoarse. The server stood their ground, insisting they were in the right because they didn&#39;t want to &quot;be responsible for FAS&quot; (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). I stood my ground and told her that I&#39;m not going to be responsible for FAS. She told me that she was taking me off the calendar until she decided what to do with me. She also informed me that I could get the restaurant in serious trouble for discrimination, and upon examination of my state&#39;s laws, she is correct. Turns out, according to state law, what this server did is actually illegal and could get the restaurant in &quot;serious trouble&quot; for &quot;discrimination.&quot;Though the server&#39;s parents &quot;understood&quot; their position (which makes sense, since parents are where many of us get our opinions from in the first place) &quot;the entire staff&quot; of the restaurant is against them. But when I talked to my mother and father about it tonight, they told me that they understood my position. The entire staff at the restaurant is against me and I think that I&#39;m going to call in and tell my manager that I quit, but I still feel in the right here. I would like some perspective on this and if I&#39;m the a**hole here. Looks like more than just the restaurant staff thinks the server is the &quot;a**hole&quot; here. The majority of commenters on Reddit are arguing that it was wrong for the server to alter someone&#39;s order without their consent and to make a moral decision on their behalf.NUTmeSHELL says: Yta [You&#39;re the A**hole]. Unless you saw the woman pee on a pregnancy test, you had no way of knowing for sure that she was pregnant. She could have been talking about someone else, a past pregnancy, or she could be planning to terminate the pregnancy. That wasn&rsquo;t your call to make. Many are pointing out that pregnant women have agency over their own bodies and this decision was hers to make. Not the server&#39;s.TrickyEducationKy says: Even if the OP was sure she was pregnant, it&rsquo;s not their call to make. Pregnant women still have the right to make their own decisions about what to consume. Even if the server&#39;s intentions were &quot;good&quot; that does not make this decision &quot;right.&quot;wasntmebutok says: YTA here, you made a lot of assumptions about a woman and a situation you don&#39;t know anything about - she might not want to keep it, but ultimately it&#39;s not up to you to decide what she can or can&#39;t put into her body. In my opinion that was a pretty big violation of her freedom of choice. You did it for the right reasons I&#39;ll grant you that, but that doesn&#39;t make what you did right. Underground_Queen says: Esh [Everyone Sucks Here] but you had good intentions. She sucks for obvious reasons, you suck because you had no way to prove she was a pregnant, you altered her drink without informing her, and you made a big decision without speaking to your manager. &quot;Her body, her choice&quot; is a good rule to live by when it comes to pregnant women. Even if her choice isn&#39;t the one you would make.

A server could could be out of a job soon for making a decision on behalf of a customer that they thought was &quot;right.&quot; Because sometimes what seems like the &quot;right&quot; thing to do is not only against the rules, it&#39;s...