Mom kicks out daughter after she doesn't find a job in months. She won't return calls.

The global economy is rough right now, to say the least.

Inflation has been affecting everything from housing prices to the cost of groceries, while wages stagnate and the wealth gap between the haves and have-nots grows exponentially. Looking for a job, alongside scores of other unemployed and overqualified applicants can be a dismal process. So while the concept of getting a job might sound simple, the reality right now is very different.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for kicking her daughter out since she didn't land a job after a few months.

She wrote:

AITA for kicking my daughter out because she hasn't found a job since moving in?

My daughter has not picked up any of my or my husband's calls over this. Were we wrong to have handled it this way? My daughter Amy (24F) graduated university a couple years ago and has had several part-time jobs since then. She would work for a few months, quit and look for another job with better pay.

At the end of last year, she asked if she could move in with us (both in our 40s) so she could save money and look for a job in the field she graduated in. That sounded good to us so we agreed. We did not expect any kind of rent or money from her at the time, simply that she would find a job. However, it's almost August and she has not found a job yet.

We asked about her job hunt and she said she was still looking and has not had any offers post-interview. I feel tricked and lied to because surely she would have found a job by now, it's been months. She has also never mentioned going to any interviews and it felt like she was lying to to keep living here. Her field is one that is looking for more women to join the workforce.

She has been living here for months to essentially do nothing. So, I talked with my husband and we both agreed it would be best for her to live with her aunt/my husband's sister as she works in the same industry as the one my daughter graduated in. Maybe she could learn some things that will help her get a job quicker.

We then told Amy that she needed to move out to her aunt's while she looks for a job because it's clear she isn't doing enough here and her aunt could help. She was upset, immediately asked that if she contributed to some of the bills, she could stay but we said no and it was time for her get more serious about applying for jobs. She said nothing and packed her bags and left.

We tried calling her today to ask her how her aunt's house is (she lives an hour's drive away) and did not answer us. Instead, she sent us a spreadsheet/tracker of sorts that detailed job roles, application links, dates, and stages of application where multiple said interview. I immediately felt guilty and tried to call her again.

She will not pickup and her aunt sent my husband a text asking us to respect Amy's privacy while she stays with her. Were we @$$holes here? We tried doing what was best.

The internet characteristically didn't hold back one bit.

C_Majuscula wrote:

YTA. You both made a lot of assumptions about her job search and kicked her out without even asking about the actual job search. Unfortunately, if she hasn't found full-time work two years after graduating, despite a regular search, there is a critical issue.

Some possibilities - low degree GPA (weeds out a lot of people), no relevant experience in summer or term jobs during her degree, applying to jobs she isn't qualified for, not being open to relocation, interview problems, or unreasonable salary expectations.

notyourstranger wrote:

YTA. You tried to do what was best for you, not for your daughter. It is very difficult for young people to find good employment these days. The world has changed quite a lot since you were young (did you vote for those changes?) and life is significantly harder for young people than it was 20-30 years ago.

Rather than have empathy and support your daughter, you chose the role of authoritarian. It will likely be a while before you hear from her again.

GaHistProf wrote:

YTA. Unless she’s been a habitual liar, you had no reason to not trust her. She brought out the evidence to show you that she has been trying, and you rightfully should be feeling shame. As you said, her aunt is more knowledgeable about your daughter’s field than you. You should have first ask your daughter if she’s talked to her aunt for advice about the field.

Instead, you choose a path that made her feel as if you 1) either don’t trust her, or have confidence in her and 2) that you don’t fully have her back.

prairiemountainzen wrote:

YTA. She's a new graduate trying to find a job in a field that is notorious for being heavily male-dominated. It's very hard looking for work these days and the competition is fierce, especially for someone who is new to the workforce and who doesn't have the years of experience so many companies require.

All you did was make your daughter feel like a failure and piled even more stress onto her by pulling the rug out from under her. No wonder she's not taking your calls, and I wouldn't expect her to do so for quite awhile.

potato_soup76 wrote:

I missed the part of your post where you explained how you communicated with her about any of this before you dropped the ban hammer. I guess I must have skipped over it. Could you point me to where in your post you described the general communication process between you/husband and your daughter?

BenynRudh wrote:

YTA, you basically accused her of lying about having interviews, kicked her out when she was struggling and needed support, and think you can just casually phone her up like everything is ok to boot? And now you feel guilty you want her back but can't give her even a few days space? What a joke.

Clearly, OP and her husband made a big mistake. Hopefully, they're able to reflect, apologize, and mend their relationship with their daughter before it's too late.