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Woman calls waiter racist because he won't make dish without 'allergen.'

Woman calls waiter racist because he won't make dish without 'allergen.'


My dad is an immigrant and he has worked hard to support our family. He saved for years to open his own restaurant and I work there.

We had a family come in last night, twelve people from grandparents to a child in a high chair.

When I came back to get their order everyone knew what they wanted except for one woman. She was polite and asked me questions about the ingredients of several dishes. After I answered she said that she was very allergic to one of the common ingredients.

We have had this happen before and my dad actually has several menu items that do not contain this ingredient and we keep the prep quarantined so we can get it ready in a timely manner.

I pointed out those choices but she didn't want any of those. So she asked if I could just get the cook to exclude the ingredient she was allergic to from her item.

I said cross contamination was likely and that I couldn't guarantee that she would not be exposed. Honestly I was surprised if she was as allergic as she said why she thought it was a good idea to come to our restaurant.

She said she wanted this one dish and to just have the cook take out that ingredient. I refused because I don't want someone to go into anaphylaxis in the restaurant. She said to just do it and shoved the menu at me.

I repeated that I would not serve her anything that might cause her to have an allergic reaction. She finally raised her voice to me and said she wasn't allergic, she just didn't like the taste. I didn't know what to do so I went to go ask my dad. He came out to the table.

When new got back there was an argument going on. I guess this woman said she was allergic to get restaurants to customize her meals. Her daughter? was asking if she had really lied her whole life just to avoid this ingredient. The lady's husband said that it was true and that we should just have accommodated her. My dad said he would make her a dish without the ingredient.

The meal seemed very tense and although the person who paid left a good tip the lady hissed that she was going to leave a bad review because I made her family fight. I was trying to do the right thing but she called me a racist name on her way out and an asshole.


It was coriander/cilantro

My mom met my dad when I was four. My mom and I are tall, white blondes. My dad is from SE Asia. If you have ever watched the Dave Chappelle sketch 'black white supremacist' then you can imagine what she called me.

From the comments:

BabyGroguLives says:

It’s ok to say honky. We’re over it.

Minimum_Raise_3601 OP responded:

More like c***klover

notrightmeowthx says:

YTA for refusing to serve them what they wanted, after you warned them about the cross contamination potential. Not all allergies cause anaphylaxis responses, and not all cause severe responses as a result of small amounts.

Your job was to inform them of what's in the dish and the contamination, your job is NOT to try to guess what their body will do in response to something.

The fight however wasn't your fault, that was their fault.

Minimum_Raise_3601 OP responded:

So I will offer you the opportunity to assume our liability. Interested?

Findingbalance5454 says:

Cilantro tastes like soap to me so I ask for it to be left out and never order anything that would have it as more than a garnish.

I think it is great that you take it seriously. Safety first.

Minimum_Raise_3601 OP responded:

Some people can have very real reactions to it.

Editor's note. We were suspicious of the above statement, but OP is correct. Learn more about cilantro allergies here.

duke113 says:

NTA. I'm guessing if she just told you cilantro tastes like soap to her, and asked which dishes the cooks could make without it (some I'm guessing it's impossible, some probably easy) you would have been accommodating.

But people shouldn't lie about allergies, because then restaurants don't take it as seriously for those who actually have them

Minimum_Raise_3601 OP responded:

For example my dad makes a small pot it soup stock without coriander every time he makes the regular stock. We have a small fryer with sunflower oil instead of peanut oil that we keep away from the big fryer. My dad wants everyone to enjoy their meals with is.

StuffonBookshelfs says:

NTA. And there’s no winning with these kinds of people. Don’t second guess yourself here. You did the right things.

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