Hiring managers and bosses get to see the other side of the process, though, and it can be a hilarious journey. Is 'Microsoft Word' really a skill you can be an 'expert' in? So, when a Reddit user asked, 'Bosses, what's the funniest thing you've read on a prospective employee's CV?' people were ready to share the resume that took them by surprise.
'Minor embezzlement' - reason for leaving last position - [deleted]
The most memorable I've had was some kid that had just graduated. The very last line on his cv was - 'I know first hand that the importance of teamwork is often the difference between life and death.' It was a part time retail position he was applying for... - rabbitwarrens
Not a boss, but I am in HR and review resumes to give to bosses. I was looking at some for an open accounts payable position. I came across 'DJ B-HIND'S' résumé. At first I thought wow, that's a really strange name. No, he was actually a DJ and used that name on his résumé.
No accounting experience, but he said he can 'account the numbers of people in da club.' There were other hilarious things under his skills like most fireball shots taken in 1 night. I showed it to my boss and he said to bring him in.
Thought boss was crazy, but I called and we interviewed him the next day. Apparently, he really loved numbers and was serious about the job. Really smart guy. He was hired on the spot. Been with us for almost a year. One of our best hires. - wtfapkin
A resume that was completely blank except for one sentence: 'I have no work experience.' - wby
I read a guy's resume that stated he was 'proficient in MS Soft Words' - FiddlersDelight
Home Coming Queen - [deleted]
My own Starbucks application makes me cringe thinking back, you have to say what your favorite Starbucks beverage is and why, I think I put 'Eggnog Latte, because it's rich, exclusive and great tasting...three things I hope to be!' It would have been the best Blind Date answer - shutupHazel
What was your major in school?
Also: Reason for leaving your last job?
'Got burned.' - Cindy_Lou_Who
I interviewed a woman for an entry level social service job. She had a Masters degree so I was confused why she was applying for this job. She was a little odd and socially awkward. On her resume it stated she worked at a major electronics store and her title was 'Key Master.'
Apparently all she did was hold the key to the locked cabinets. This was not a store with a lot of high end merchandise so there were maybe 3 locked areas. It felt to me that her boss gave her a made up title to keep her out of customers' way. I also used to read a lot of actor's headshots. My favorite under special talents was 'owns own gorilla suit.' - swimminginvinegar
I was never a boss, but I once received a resume that was double sided. The front was about what you would expect, the back had all the videogames the dude had beaten. - roastbeeftacohat
Stay-at-home mom listed as 'domestic engineer' - kelstaney
I'm guessing this was a case of characters lost in translation, but on an otherwise good resume...all his bullet points were hearts. - freealloc
A prospective employee sent me a résumé that still had the instructions from the template in each line. 'Education: put in your most recent education information here. John Marshall high School, graduated 2003.' - kneehitoagrasshopper
In a cover letter for a software engineering position (this is for a virtual, work-from-home job where we rarely/never meet in person): I own a $150 coffee machine and wear $12 shoes - jawg6200
On the application:
Where did you last work? Carter County Jail
What did you do there? Time - loonycrackpot
Roles and responsibilities of previous job: Stalking the shelves. I envisioned him creeping between the aisles disguised as a bush. - Shakin_bacon
New grad listed 'Member of the National Geographic Society' AKA she had a subscription to the magazine. - PieRevelry
Not me but my wife got something to the effect of 'Objective: to shine like a bright star in the career galaxy.' - steelers828
In language skills: 'can write in multiple languages with Google Translate' - jebaw
On an application form:
'Where did you hear about this job?'
'My mum told me about it.' - [deleted]
A friend of mine who was coming up for 20 at the time had only really worked in a hotel washing dishes since he was 16.
He'd decided to look for a job elsewhere, somewhere he could get a wee career going, so to try and make his job sound fancier he stated he'd been working as an 'underwater ceramics technician' for the past 4 years.
He got phoned up by the first company he handed a CV into and they offered him an interview because the guy said it was the best laugh he'd gotten all day reading CVs. He got the job which was 3 years ago now and he's been there since, seems a lot happier to be there. - afroguy10