'AITA for refusing to participate in my birthday lunch at work?'
"AITA for refusing to participate in my birthday lunch at work?"
AITA for refusing to participate in "my" (35m) birthday lunch at work? My office is small, 9 people total, and every other employee gets their own lunch except for me and "Francis"(39m) who shares my exact birthday, are forced to share a birthday outing each year.
This means that each year everyone else gets to choose their favorite restaurants while each year I have to settle for some mediocre bulls$%t because he has the taste buds of a petulant toddler and acts like one when we go out too. Seriously, its embarrassing to be in a restaurant with him.
He has an attitude with servers and we all place bets to see how fast he sends back his food or complains and tries to get his meal comped. When I voiced my wishes to not participate any longer in my own birthday, but would still be willing to pitch in for Francis' meal, everyone is acting like I'm the AH.
I tried to explain that if our birthdays had been even one week apart, nobody would bat an eye, and that we don't even do the lunch on our actual birthday, but nobody seems to care. They say I should just go along and compromise. So, AITA?
Edit 1: Two other employees, the supervisor and a co-worker have a birthday 4 days apart and they each get their own lunches. My argument is that why should we be any different?
People had lots of thoughts about OP's quandary.
CutieKale100 wrote:
NTA. Unless the compromise that they're speaking of is that the two of you trade-off picking each year there's not really a compromise. Also, you're not required to go to a lunch and even offered to pay which is super nice.
vt2022cam wrote:
NTA — split it and do it a week apart. He also sounds like he sucks.
If you want to make a point, say, “I’ve never selected a place and after x years, can it be my turn for my bday.”
KronkLaSworda wrote:
"They say I should just go along and compromise."
What compromise? Where are they offering concessions? There aren't any. Compromise is give AND take. NTA to say no to bland food and boring company.
SoImaRedditUserNow wrote:
So why can't you just split up the birthdays? Do Francis on day X and yours on day Y? Just because they fall on the same day? If the company lunch isn't on the actual birthday day, why are you two forced to share a meal?
And given that apparently, everyone is aware of Francis having lousy taste, Seems like your office is filled with drama that isn't necessary. Or maybe you trade off who chooses the place, and Francis has to suck it up next year (as apparently, he sucks it up on other people's birthdays). NTA.
chuckinhoutex wrote:
NTA- and I'd say... um.. let's see. Your position is go, my position is not-go.. so how is me just folding and going any sort of compromise. Compromise is separating the dates and I'll go.
That's the offer. I'm willing to hear counters that aren't simply capitulation. Another offer is that we can go to my choice as many times as I have had to go to his and then once we are even, we can have this conversation again.
Also, any particular reason that Francis and I aren't worth the same amount as everybody else? Why is the one "exception" to the tradition that's permitted resulting in my having to eat s#$t on my birthday celebration?