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Woman asks if she's wrong for telling 'overweight' sister to change clothes for work.

Woman asks if she's wrong for telling 'overweight' sister to change clothes for work.


We live in a fatphobic world, and most people could work on body-shaming issues. We should celebrate people who come in all shapes and sizes, and hope we can all be comfortable in our own skin.

However, there are rules of decorum for anyone of any size. Is it OK to remind someone of those rules if their body type is part of what is breaking those rules? Here's one sister's story.

I (30f) love my sister (24), we get along great. Growing up not so much. My sister has always struggled with other weight issues to the point that we were NEVER allowed to use the word fat, even if it wasn’t to describe a person.

She had worked through a lot of her confidence issues but once our mom passed she regressed mentally and began binge eating. She is now much heavier but refuses to buy new clothes.

This has been over the past couple of years. I never said anything before because of how sensitive this topic is for her. Well she got a “big girl job”. She started a week ago. We met up for lunch and as she walked in and her stomach was hanging out. She fixed it but then it immediately came out again.

I asked her if she was WFH or in the office. She said in the office and I told her her stomach was out and she said that she knew and was fixing it all day. I told her to go shopping with me this weekend and we’ll get clothes that fit her and I’ll pay since she hasn’t gotten a check.

She said they do fit her and that I shouldn’t body shame her. I explained that she can wear whatever she wants but it’s not appropriate for an office job. She started crying and stormed out. AMITA ?

Here's what people had to say in the comments:


NTA. This is not ok for an office job. You were NOT body shaming her. You were simply stating she needed a shirt that covered her belly. I don't care what anyone says in this sub, YOU WERE NOT BODY SHAMING HER!


I'd argue it's the opposite of body shaming. OP didn't tell her sister to lose weight or mock her. She offered to get her clothes that would be more comfortable, fit her body better and thus look better, which in my experience would help her feel better about herself.


I've been plus-size for most of my life and I know what body shaming looks like. I've been on the receiving end of it a lot unfortunately. I agree that this is not body shaming


As an overweight person I can honestly say that she has effectively weaponized her weight against the whole family. You guys aren't even allowed to say the word fat as if that makes her less fat. And now she is weaponizing the positive body movement against you guys to avoid an honest discussion about her weight.


NTA. Even at retail jobs, you can get fired for dress code violations including “inappropriate dress.” OPs sister won’t be able to defend herself when she loses her job. It’s not about weight, it’s about professionalism.

So there you have it! NTA, but do you agree? Maybe she should have let her learn on her own and not get involved?

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