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Woman gets caught on vacation when she called in sick; asks for advice. Updated!

Woman gets caught on vacation when she called in sick; asks for advice. Updated!

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First OP posted on Legal Advice UK.

'Went on holiday while on the sick but boss saw pictures on Facebook.'

I ran out of holidays from work and got option of last minute holiday so called in sick for 5 days. Lots of people do this.

I’m not linked to anyone at work on Facebook but turns out one of my friends is and my manager has now seen posts with pictures of me on holiday. I know she’s seen them because she’s made a comment but I don’t know what if anything she’s going to do. Can she do anything?

Here's what people said to OP after the first post:

ashandes writes:

Yes. You could be disciplined and potentially dismissed for gross misconduct. FWIW unless you're really important or they're very easy-going, I'd prepare for the worst. On the bright-side you won't lose any accrued holiday pay.

boasoas OP responded:

Ok but can they use Facebook as evidence? I thought companies couldn’t use personal social media posts.

Icy_Session3326 writes:

Depending on how valuable you are to where you work , I’d start looking for another job 😅 you took a chance and f**ked about and now you’ve been found out . They’re perfectly legally able to sack you if they want to for this

Next OP posted on AITA:

'AITA for not celebrating my friend’s promotion because I might be getting sacked?'

Christmas is going to be terrible. It seems very likely that I’m going to be fired from my job when I go back, for what was a massive error of judgment. I have to go to a meeting when we reopen but advice is that it doesn’t look good for me. Also I can’t really job hunt because all the companies in my field are closed over Christmas. I’ve never been in trouble before and I’m feeling sick and scared.

Ironically, my good friend has just got a big promotion, which is deserved. She’d planned a big night out to celebrate, which I agreed to go to before all this happened. When this happened I said I couldn’t go, I was too miserable and probably shouldn’t spend the money.

She said she’d pay for me. I still didn’t want to go and said I’d put a damper on the night. She said it would do me good to be distracted for a night. I told her she was insensitive and if it was for any other reason I would go but not for this.

She told me that the trouble I was in was my own fault and I was selfish for not wanting to celebrate her success just because I’ve f***ed up. I was really hurt that she said this and it escalated.

I didn’t go, she still went with the other people but she’s still annoyed with me. AITA here?

Here's how people judged OP:

UsagiDreams writes:

NTA for not being in the mood but YTA for escalating it in the first place. m'I was really hurt that she said this.' Just like she was probably hurt that you told her she was being insensitive, and she reacted.

No_Impression_2731 writes:

Couldn't agree more. Being down for being in trouble at work is understandable; however I think your friend had good intentions when she insisted on you going out to clear your head. In any case best of lucks OP hope is only a warning, and not a firing. And if you do get fired. Don't worry there are other jobs out there.

boasoas OP responded:

Thanks. Appreciate the support. I’m a little tender at the moment.

dolphins18 writes:

Wow. And I didn’t think you could be worse. I was wrong, I’ll admit that. You’re an even bigger a**hole than the other post showed

boasoas OP added:

You’ve seen it now. It’s as it says. In my defense I know other people who’ve taken sick days when they weren’t sick and I didn’t really think it was this serious. Re Facebook, I’m not linked to anyone I work with and I didn’t post anything anyway. It was a post a friend made and she is linked to co workers.

I didn’t realise that Facebook posts could be used as evidence in work situations like this. Anyway it seems work are treating it seriously and I’m probably screwed, from what our union guy says. Thanks for your judgment though, it makes me feel marginally better.

I’m not denying I did something wrong, I am owning it, but I’d say fraud is a bit of a strong word.

After the last post, OP posted on AskHR.

I have a disciplinary meeting next week. Am I better to resign or let them dismiss me?

I have a disciplinary meeting next week, 2 days before my 2 year work anniversary.

I am going to admit the allegation, which was that I took paid sick leave to go on holiday for a week- they found some posts on social media. It was a stupid decision which I regret.

The letter I have states they are considering it as gross misconduct. I am in a union and the rep has told me it looks bad. I now understand how serious it is but in practice is this something which is likely to get me sacked?

Is there a reason it would be better to resign before being dismissed? I do not have another job. But I worry in case I did that and they were only going to give me a warning. Is there a point this becomes obvious?

Thanks for your help, I have never been in trouble like this before so don’t know hat to expect.

Info from OP:

The discipline policy has a list of things and they are saying fraud and falsifying records because I signed the RTW saying that I was ill. The rep says the policy is very standard, mirrors ACAS. 3 levels of warning, 1 right of appeal.

It wasn’t even my FB it was my friend’s!

We went away (abroad) for a week and there were pictures over the course of the week, checking us in at our location. There were some pictures in bars but not all..

Hi . Thanks. No I won’t be there 2 years until 2 days after the hearing unfortunately. ☚ī¸ I wanted to go away on holiday abroad but didn’t have any holidays left so I booked the holiday and then called in sick. At the time it didn’t seem that big a deal but it was really stupid, I get that now. I then signed the RTW when I got back saying I was sick.

I’ve never had any warnings before. I’ve had some time off sick but never enough to have a warning.

I don’t work in a regulated industry, so does this mean even if the sack me, it wouldn’t be in a reference?

No, said I had flu/ chest infection

Next OP went back to AITA for another update:

'AITA for asking my BFs brother for a chance of a job when I’m desperate?'

I’ve had a bad few weeks- I’ve just lost my job due to a misjudgment on my part. My company overreacted, in my opinion, and dismissed me. I’ve had to accept this and move on but it’s been hard.

To keep afloat, I’ve got 2 minimum wage jobs in unrelated areas. I’ve only just started them and already absolutely hate them! They are boring and brutal, I’m quickly eating into savings and I’m desperately looking for something similar to before. I’m applying for jobs but nothing yet. It’s awful atm and I’m really worried.

My BF “Dave” and his older brother “Kieran” both work at the same company, but in different functions. Kieran is more senior and has been there longer. Dave hasn't been there long and got the job through his brother.

We went to his parents for dinner the other night. Kieran and his GF were there too. I’ve always got on well with all of them and they know my situation and have generally been supportive.

It came out (accidentally, which stung a bit) that there is a vacancy at their company, similar to my previous job.

I asked about it and Dave couldn’t help, hadn’t known about it, didn’t know the people involved or what the job was.

Kieran did know and could have helped but was non-committal and vague but I kept asking and he provided more details. I thought I could definitely do it and was really enthusiastic.

I asked him if I could apply and he wasn’t keen at all and said he didn’t think it was a good fit and not my thing. He knows anything would be at the moment!

I said it sounded perfect and I wanted to apply and asked him to put a good word in for me. He still didn’t sound happy about it and kept making lame excuses.

He said it was a different department, he wasn’t the hiring manager and couldn’t influence it, I was free to apply but he couldn’t really recommend me. I asked why not as he’d recommended Dave for a job in a different department. Then his mum got involved, backing me up, saying family was important and I was a great worker.

He argued for a bit with us, then said he’d not had concerns about Dave, he did about me! After everything that’s happened, and thinking he was on my side, wow! I got annoyed and probably shouted a bit and asked him what he meant.

He said I had a work ethic and attitude problem and I didn’t get fired for nothing and he wasn’t prepared to harm his own career recommending someone who he had concerns about! He said family loyalty also meant me not harming him at work! I couldn't believe it and said so. His mum agreed with me and there was a big row, us v Kieran.

Then Dave also got involved and asked his mum to back off and me to leave it which was even more hurtful.

We left soon after and Dave is now annoyed with me for ‘causing’ the fight. All I’m trying to do is get back on my feet and be given another chance and I feel so unsupported. We had another fight and he blames me for that. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP after this post:

Competitive_Pen_8534 writes:

Edit after looking at your post history: YTA. You were fired for lying and taking sick days just to go on vacation. So your bf's brother knows that you are an unreliable employee. And you want him to put his reputation with the company on the line just to recommend you?

That's unbelievably selfish. You claim to be a hard worker, but your work history proves that is a lie. You are definitely TA here.

Finally, OP posted once more in AITA:

I posted a few times just before and just after I lost my job. Looking back now, I’m embarrassed about how entitled I sounded but I was a bit in shock and disbelief and not really thinking straight at the time.

I worked at my previous job for nearly 2 years. The culture and enforcement around timekeeping and attendance was quite lax. It was well known that people called in sick when they weren’t. People called in if they needed a day off for a school thing for their kids or for a hangover.

Everyone knew they were doing it. Nothing happened as a result. Right or wrong, it happened. I got used to it and like others sometimes abused it. I wasn’t the best but also not the worst.

We got a new head of department. I now see she wanted to change this culture. They did some announcements/ warnings but I didn’t pick up exactly what was being said. My fault. Totally.

So, I ran out of annual leave, wanted an holiday and like others I just called in sick. I did this at a time when my department was very busy- it was bad for my colleagues and I get them being annoyed with me. Some of them found out I was away, from my friends’ posts and told my manager, who took it through disciplinary process and they sacked me.

I later found out from one of the ex-colleagues that I handed it to the company on a plate. I gave them the perfect case, gave them all the evidence etc so they could sack me as a warning to everyone else. The absence rate is apparently great now! How stupid am I ?

I went into shock and panic a bit when I was sacked. I was scared about being homeless and never getting another job. I applied via agencies and got short term work. Lots of it. It was hard.

As per my post, I found out about a job at my boyfriend and his brother’s employer, which was similar to what I’d done and thought if I got that, I wouldn’t have gaps in my cv (resume) etc. I see now how inconsiderate I was to both of them, especially “Kieran”, who would have had to vouch for me. I’ve apologised to Kieran and he’s accepted it.

I also apologised to their mum. (“Dave” did know about it by the way, just felt it was easier not to. Kieran knowingly took the rap for him)

So I got lots of short term agency minimum wage jobs. I got a job in a pub kitchen ( I’ve since been promoted to the bar).

I burnt my arm on the night of Dave’s sister’s engagement party (which I couldn’t get the night off for!). Incidentally, on that night, Dave’s mum had a few drinks and told lots of family members why I wasn’t there. Nice. One the plus side, I ended up getting an evening job cleaning offices, through Dave’s auntie. I’ve still got it, until I feel more secure about other jobs.

One of the ‘longer’ short term positions I got, I was sacked for being late - due to an accident on the motorway. It really opened my eyes.

I’m now working in a similar job to the one I lost, but for less money and longer hours. There is regular overtime (6-2) on a Saturday and I am at the moment keeping my pub and cleaning jobs, so am taking home a bit more. The main job is going ok though, the company is good and long term there may well be more prospects than previously. I am being the ‘perfect employee’ and intend to remain so.

Around the same time as my post, Kieran and his partner announced they were expecting a baby (so I was obviously not priority), their sister announced her engagement (the party I missed) and lots of commenters here expressed their hope that Dave would leave me! Lovely. He didn’t. I now think it was because he didn’t have the guts.

We aren’t together any more, my decision, though I think he was relieved, not really anything to do with this. He’s seeing someone else now. He says they met after we split up, I don’t believe him but what can I do. Some Redditors will be pleased, no doubt!

I randomly saw Kieran after this, he said he thought we weren’t right together, that I needed someone to stand up to me more, and Dave wasn’t it. Made me feel strangely better somehow. I actually feel I will miss Kieran more than Dave. He was like a big brother. He’ll be a great dad.

Anyway, yes I was TA. I got a lot of nasty comments and DMs but also got a lot of advice and support, which helped me a lot, so thanks. Life is quite hard at the moment but I’m working on it getting better.

Here's what people had to say to OP after the last update:

Stephenallen1977 writes:

Thanks for the update. Seems unlike most of the posters in AITA, you took on the advice given and have been working hard to be a better person. Better to make a mistake early in life and move forward with the experience.

boasoas OP replied:

Thanks. I really don’t want to screw up my life more than I have already. Appreciate your comment

DinahTook writes:

I saw this when you posted it in the wrong sub earlier. I just wanted to message and say that it is wonderful that you took the comments and used that as a moment to reflect on what happened and your choices. It really sounds like you are focused on moving forward in a better way. Thays wonderful!.

I hope things continue to look up for you and you continue learning from mistakes to be a better, stronger, and happier version of you than you were when you first posted about this situation.

Good luck!

boasoas OP replied:

Thanks. This actually means a lot.

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