1. No jokes would work here, this is DEVASTATING.
2. That band is ruined for her forever.
3. Is it dog-napping if they ran away together?
4. At least he knows he's an asshole.
5. Actually, EarthwormJane, the correct response is "New Phone Who Dis?" Close though!
6. Well, this story is painful.
7. Glitter: Reddit's favorite revenge.
8. At least she cheated on you in private.
9. Inconvenience: the best revenge.
10. She's ashamed but this is one of the most justified revenge stories in the whole thread.
11. What a horrible way to find out that your ex never loved you.
12. There's also this approach.