Breakups are almost never easy. Often, there's a multitude of small problems adding up over time that ultimately lead to the end of a relationship. Sometimes, though, it's just one big thing, an action, or a realization, or you know, walking in on your significant other having sex with your roommate. That'd pretty much do it.
Over on Reddit, men talked about the one thing that happened or that they found out that made them end a long-term relationship right then and there.
1. For houndofhell96, absence did not make the heart grow fonder.
That being away from her didn't bother me. I went to college two hours away from her, and didn't feel a thing. It wasn't really out of the blue, but it definitely played a big role in my decision.
2. Pizzaboxers realized he was just happier without her.
Everytime she wasn't around I was happy
3. Osmo512 learned that, in some cases, a person is doing the very thing they accuse you of doing.
For a year, she accused me of wanting to cheat on her. Then I found out she was seeing someone on the side.
4. Balsamic_jizz loved the idea of the relationship more than the actual person.
That after 3 years I didn't actually love her at all, I just loved the idea of being in a stable relationship.
5. BENTANALAPAGAN wasn't into becoming a dad.
That I was going to have to have kids to stay with her.
6. Pro_tool learned that his girlfriend had some very different views on relationships from his.
She had a boyfriend in another country and thought it was ok
7. Butternuttie's girlfriend wasn't who he thought she was.
She had been an escort the entire time. So many lies. Put my health at risk too. She literally told me she wanted to have my children and build a future with me the week before I found her account and messages to various johns asking pricing for services. I still want to puke when I think about it.
8. Acidpants220 couldn't handle the demands of his girlfriend's issues with mental health.
That she had no real control over her anxious impulses and overall mental health. I was about to drive down an visit her, a 90 minute drive, and I told her "My goal is 10am, but maybe as late as noon if [unlikely thing that I anticipated might happen] happens." And she couldn't handle the uncertainty in the slightest. She kept asking me when exactly I was arriving. When I repeated my answer she seemed to accept it, but then asked when exactly I was arriving in different terms, or said she was asking because someone else needed to know when exactly I was arriving. She brought it up over and over, at least 5 times over a the course of what should have been a Skype date; She really couldn't accept that I had a general idea of my arrival time, but couldn't say for certain.
I was a really small thing, but spoke volumes about where she was with her mental health; right then was the moment where I knew I couldn't date her any longer.
9. You-create-energy's girlfriend needed too much validation.
That she constantly needed to be told how beautiful she was, and not just by me.
10. For theCHAMPdotcom, the realization they wouldn't make a good pair came when they started discussing a future together.
When we got serious and started discussing marriage type things.
Major conflicts on big issues like how to raises kids, our sex life etc.
11. Work had to come before love for zugzwang_03.
That in order to stay together, one of us would have had to give up our dream career.
There were a lot of small things which simultaneously eroded our relationship, but they all stemmed from this one key incompatibility. Once we fully realized it, I knew we were over.
12. Pestoroll's girlfriend's violation of his privacy was just too much to handle.
That while I was out of my apartment, she snuck into my bedroom and read through a journal of mine. She got upset over some trivial things in it.
13. JAYDEA found out his girlfriend had been leading a double life (and not as a spy).
She gave me too good a lapdance.
Actually, I found out she was a stripper after about 5 months of dating--because of a lapdance. She claimed she was a hairstylist and a part-time bartender. She was beautiful, always made-up and hair done perfect. She was a nice girl, very sweet and had a bubbly personality. She loved beer and expensive shoes. We got along great except I could never actually believe her when we talked about her job.
She always worked late; she would never spend the night. I almost never saw her on Friday or Saturday nights. She always had way too much cash. For a bartender, she didn't know much about alcohol and was pretty shitty in the kitchen. She dressed very well but also had some of the trashiest clothes that she never wore and didn't seem to fit with her personality.
Then one day, during some foreplay, she gave me a lapdance. It wasn't a cute and giggly lapdance that you would expect from most girls; it wasn't even something you would expect from someone who had experience grinding on their SO. It was 100% stripper-grade. Seriously, no civilian could give a lapdance like that. It was surgically erotic but she was so detached while doing it. It was like a switch flipped and she went into stripper mode. As soon as she started, I knew. Everything suddenly clicked. I didn't immediately break up with her but I kinda just let it fizzle out.
THEN almost 2 years later, after a long night out, a friend and I ended up at a strip club and guess who was there? She recognized me and, of course, I got a lapdance. While she was grinding on me, she was making excuses about how this was a temporary fix for her credit card debt (when we were dating, she bragged about how she would never purchase anything on credit because she didn't believe in credit cards). I said that's too bad and then gave her another $40 to give my friend a lapdance.
She started texting me as soon as we left the strip club saying how she had a great time and missed me but I just didn't want to deal with it.
For the record, I wasn't upset that she was a stripper (I've dated a stripper before), it was that she lied to me for nearly 6 months.
14. TheAnalThrasher had an epiphany while reading a screed his girlfriend had written about how bad a boyfriend she thought he was.
I got sent a novel length text berating me about how i don't treat her right, not being good enough, etc (which in hindsight i wasn't being the best). I only read about 1/4th of it but that was enough. Just had an epiphany that i wasn't happy with her. Never really looked back on it.
15. Youreallmeatanyway knew that both people have to be mentally healthy for a relationship to be healthy.
That she's never going to get a handle on her depression and she's going to drag me down with her if I let her.
16. There was no way konorM was going to get past this.
When I came home and found her in bed with my roommate. Ended right then and there.
17. Centersolace got tired of his needs being put on the back burner.
Realizing she didn't actually care about my happiness or well being. It was always what I could do for her, and that I never did enough.
Every time I tried to talk about my life or my problems she'd always snap "quit reverting things back to yourself." "you always revert things back to yourself."
Our relationship lasted seven years, almost to the day. But I'd rather be alone than be actively dismissed like that.