Gwyneth Paltrow's use of the term "Conscious Uncoupling" instead of divorce might have sounded like the kind of pretentious nonsense we've come to expect from the famously insufferable lifestyle guru. But it was actually carefully chosen to reflect the nature of her breakup, as explained in this endless essay on Goop. There are, in fact, pretentious nonsense terms for nearly every kind of breakup and divorce, and they're not just for celebrities anymore. Which one works best for you?