Relationships are tough, but breaking up is tougher. It's hard enough to choose a method if you're the breakup-er, and trying to cope as the breakup-ee is nearly impossible without literally moving into a KFC. But thankfully, like just about everything in the times we live in, breaking up can be outsourced to a professional service. The Breakup Shop "believes everyone deserves to be single." Their mission statement is:
Let us handle the messy work of the breakup so you can spend more time swiping right.
They can be hired to execute the breakup, and they also sell packages of gifts for exes, which include wine glasses, cookies, The Notebook, and Call of Duty. Their website is refreshingly straightforward:
They have multiple different breakup options, depending on how old-fashioned your methods of communication are:
1. The Breakup Text
2. The Breakup Email
3. The Standard Breakup Letter
4. The Custom Breakup Letter
The company has yet to comment on whether or not they were inspired by this Inside Amy Schumer sketch:
Addendum: Need a job? If you're skilled at breakups, but unfortunately are in a happy relationship, The Breakup Shop is hiring professional "heartbreakers" to craft the copy. It's the perfect opportunity for anyone who loves making people unhappy.