- Your online comments make me glad I only know you online - I heard you just started a blog and wanted to see if everything is okay. - There's no easy way to tell you this but I've already seen the link you sent me. - I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet. - Good to see that your horrible, debilitating cold hasn't kept you from looking at internet porn. - You seem remarkably sane for an Internet commenter. - I'm only interested in seeing an Instagram of your meal if it's your last. - I wish I could make my status invisible in real life. - Sorry your Facebook Wall joke fell flat even in the empty silence of the Internet - The Internet has destroyed my will to care if anything is real or fake on the Internet - I would have shared your Facebook post but I can't have people thinking I'm the idiot who can't spell or use proper grammar. - I'd totally watch your Internet video if it was on television, had famous people in it, and was funny - Sorry my Internet shorthand took you so long to comprehend - You have a lot of Facebook friends for someone with no friends. - Just wanted to let you know that it's possible to exercise and then not post about it on Facebook. - I wish there was an even lazier way than social media to wish you a happy birthday. - May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.