These will come in handy when their penises become sentient and start robbing banks.
"What's in a dick? That which we call a peen by any other name would look as weird." (via Distractify)
It looks like couples describing each other to a police sketch artist was just a warm-up for the awkwardness to come. Yesterday, Distractify had some of the couples from that video, in addition to some new faces, engage in a similar experiment, except this time, instead of having the couples describe each other's faces, the girlfriends described their boyfriends' penises. They didn't hold back at all when it came to getting graphic, with the participants using many produce-inspired metaphors such as "can of beans," "carrot," and "mushroom with a smiley face" to help the artist visualize the schlongs. Some of the boyfriends protest (over their dick size, of course), but one of the female participants sums up the experiment nicely with the statement, "You don't get the view of your dick that I get." Wise words, friend. Wise words.