It takes a lot of guts to go up to someone you think is cute and make a move. Some of us are blessed with a natural ability to be charming AF, but for the rest of us, flirting involves a lot of blank stares, sweating, and the inability to control the volume of our voice. A recent AskReddit thread asked users to share stories of the most awkward ways someone has tried to hit on them. Hopefully they'll make you feel better about your flirting skills.
Wow, jschong2, telling you that you're not pretty didn't work? So strange!
"You can tell my feelings for you are genuine because you're not that pretty, so you know I'm not being superficial."
You know what they say, MoonLover10792. It ain't love if they don't make up a death in the family to get you to go out with them.
When I was in High School this guy told me that the reason he was so in love with me was because I reminded him of his dead mother.
She wasn't dead.
knutmeg never asked to be serenaded at their place of work. And yet, here we are.
This guy I used to work with in high school at a small bookstore once sang Bohemian Rhapsody to me, word for word, while on his knees after telling me he'd been practicing for me...why? i have absolutely no idea.
merelyanotherstudent's story is certainly awkward, but it's actually kind of adorable too. We hope that dude figured out how to hit on whoever it was he actually wanted to hit on.
Some random guy in the bathroom of a library came up to me while I was washing my hands and said:"Hey man, how do I hit on girls? Actually, to be more specific, how do I hit on you? Not that you're a girl. I hope you're gay too. This is weird, we're in a bathroom. I've gotta go".
The guy in the stall and I had a good chuckle over that one.
streamstroller probably made the right call in not accepting this person's offer to take her on a picnic in a graveyard, but we can't help but wonder what would've happened if she did.
I was working as a cocktail waitress. A customer said, "do you want to have lunch with me in a cemetery somewhere?" Um...nope.
ThatOneCorgiGuy knows what they're worth. And it's more than $35.
Asked if i would sleep with him. When i said no, the proposal was spiced up with an offer of $35. I wasn't as much offended by the offer as i was offended by it only being $35
Apparently euphemisms aren't the way to Back2Bach's heart, but you have to admit this one's pretty good.
After an organ concert I played, a newer gay tenor in my choir took me aside and asked if I'd like to come back to his place "for a different type of organ recital."
Turns out it's going to take more than "I don't have syphilis" to win kindchains' heart.
This happened just recently. I'm at work on my lunch break. I usually take my lunch during the slower times, so I get the break room to myself and can watch tv by projecting my tablet screen to the tv. Coworker comes in as I'm watching The Office (US) on Netflix. It gets to the part where a guy in a Ben Franklin costume says he doesn't have syphilis. Coworker turns around and says "haha, neither do I..."
I just pretend I didn't hear him. He then kinda whispers "so I'm good to go, kindchains...haha". He then procedes to take way too long just to stir his coffee, all the while sighing and muttering loudly, then finally leaves without another word.
Oh, God, he dropped his phone in the cherries. We're sorry you had to clean up this mess, demicratic.
I worked at a frozen yogurt shop and some kid came up to the counter with the toppings as I was trying to clean it up and thrust his phone out at me. I just stared at it for a second and then asked him what he was doing. We just stared at each other for a good 15 seconds before he said "put your number in my phone". I was like, "no" and then he dropped his phone in the cherries so I had to clean that up too.
Amadal might win the award for weirdest pick-up line.
He told me he was a satanist and wanted to marry a woman dressed in black latex so every one would know she was a whore.
When another commenter jokingly asked Amadal how long the two of them had been together, she provided this update:
I actually saw him for a couple weeks after because I was a bit intrigued. Alas, I wasn't the whore for him.
Sure, these stories are pretty cringeworthy, but hey. Love is hard and sometimes we say dumb things to people we're attracted to. At the end of the day, we're all just weirdos looking for love. Right?
(Except for that guy who told jschong2 she wasn't pretty. He's the worst.)