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The management of Level Nightclub in Bolton, U.K., recently received a text from a patron that was so weird, so skeezy, and so dumb, they had no choice but to share it on Facebook. Apparently, one of their regulars was fed up with accidentally running into his girlfriend's dad there, and asked if the 37-year-old could be banned, so that he wouldn't have to constantly look over his shoulder while he was hitting on other women. Needless to say, it didn't go well for him.

Nah I'm not having this, surely it's a wind up 😂😂😂

Posted by Level Nightclub Bolton on Monday, January 16, 2017
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Here's a closeup of the texts:

Names and faces blurred to protect the dumbass involved.
Names and faces blurred to protect the dumbass involved.
Facebook: Level Nightclub Bolton

Although he's certainly a lowlife, this guy's charming Northern dialect almost makes his request seem less offensive.

JK, he's a tool.