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It's never pleasant going through a breakup, and those tired old clichés can make you feel used and depleted. "It's not you, it's me." "I'm focusing on me right now." "We work better as friends." WHAT DOES THAT REALLY MEAN.

https://giphy.com/gifs/breakup-james-van-der-beek-ugly-crying-sa5waSGz8n5Ju

But on the flip side of that, the brutal honesty is often a lot more... brutal. You can guarantee the following people would have begged for a pleasant cliché after what their exes went with in the moment of breakup.

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And guess who's consistently got the cruelest tactics? Cheaters, of course.

1. Let's start with FredWampy. His story is the worst.

"Your brother is better in bed."

She'd been cheating on me. Yes, with him.

2. Murderousbudgie is murderous for a reason.

"I don't know why you actually thought we were going to get married. I'm only 26."

Uh, motherfucker, because you fucking proposed to me.

3. Imightbeaspider knows too much. Way too much.

He started telling me the details of his cheating.

Originally he told me it was a drunken mistake and he was completely blacked out. After I dumped him he told me the truth.

He said it wasn't one night, it was two. They f*cked 13 times, and the first time he called her by my name. He said she was better than me in every way.

That had me really fucked up for a while, which was his intention.

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https://giphy.com/gifs/cravetvcanada-amy-schumer-inside-cravetv-26u6bcB4TfwIaIqOY

4. VVillyD makes you glad AIM is gone. It's gone, right?

In early college (2004-5) I had a friend who broke up with his girlfriend by changing his AIM away message to "Found out I'm John Conner. Off to fight the machines. Previous social commitments are on hold, unless otherwise notified". He then just stopped talking to his girlfriend.

That was pretty cruel, I think.

5. Naegerst may have dodged a bullet here.

"Hey you wanna see a magic trick?"

  • Yes

does crazy things with his hands

"Poof you're single"

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6. Congrats on two things, lbtrigger!

Not so much as what she said, but how it went about.

The day before she broke up with me, I didn't get into Grad School. That was the kicker, me not getting into grad school apparently. She basically said I was a loser and I'm "not the writer [she] fell in love with before."

Fast forward a week later, the rejection was a mistake. I actually got in the masters program! Fast forward to now: I start the PhD program in the Fall! :)

7. Oh. Oh no. So sorry, DontReadMyPosts.

"You're not my passion; You don't make me melt."

Said about a week after she told me I make her melt.

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8. MayonaiseH0B0 dated Larry David, so don't feel too bad.

"If you weren't losing your hair I'd find you attractive. I just can't be with a bald man. What would people say"

she said this to me when I was 20 at an Applebee's and still wanted me to pay for dinner.

Edit: Thank you to everyone for your kind and encouraging words.

https://giphy.com/gifs/television-comedy-celebs-f1NvlwrCcAlxe

9. Bustyturtlelover has a loyal brother to cancel out her disloyal cousin.

After catching him cheating on me in my own house, with my cousin, ON MY BIRTHDAY, his reason was,

"Our relationship is about the emotions, not the sex."

Apparently the whole time he kept fucking other girls while leaving the emotional baggage parts to me. I'm glad to say my brother didn't let Jason go without a nice reminder of why you don't fucking do that on a girl's birthday.

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10. 8ack_Space found a true MVP.

She cheated on me, I found out about it, and I gave myself 3 hours to calm myself before I talked to her. This was my first long-term relationship, we had been dating for just over a year.

When I finally called her, I was calm, polite, and most importantly: Indifferent. I wasn't really feeling that way, but I forced myself to be completely flat in my tone and my words. I said, "I found out about you and X. I'm breaking up with you, I'll be over this weekend to pick up my things from your place."

She responded with lying about it, then this that and the other. Everything she said only got a simple response of, "I stand by my decision to break up." She started getting really really frustrated by my even tone and lack of response (in reality, I was biting my fingers one by one to force myself to remain calm as she talked). Eventually she ended with:

"Okay yeah I sucked him off in a movie theater, but you're the real bastard by not even being MAD about it! Clearly you never cared about us!" And she hung up on me. Never did get my stuff, but really the only thing I wanted was the copy of my favorite novel I lent her, so I just ended up buying myself a nice hard copy of it afterwards as a breakup consolation for myself.

Bonus kicker? I was at a gaming session with a group of friends a few weeks later, and a random number I'd never seen calls my phone. Turns out it's her sister, and my ex is there having her call me because she wants to talk because she wants to get "closure" on our relationship.

Someone in the gaming session asked what was going on when they saw my face go stoic. I held my hand over the phone's mic and explained. The instant my hand left the mic, a girl present at the gathering shouted "8ack_Space! Come back to bed, we miss youuuu!" and that got the other two girls in the room giggling and shouting similar things.

Ex heard it (I guess they were on speakerphone) and flipped out. I just said, "Uhm. They're tagging me back in, gotta go." A few weeks later, I asked out the girl who shouted it.

Ten years later, here we are, happily married.

Never spoke to my ex again, but the idea of cheating on someone then claiming they had no investment in the relationship just because they have the audacity to try and be calm about it...

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11. Lucifers_scrotum revels in his cruelty, as you'd expect.

Well I have a story for this but I was the one who said it. Basically she said something along the lines of,"What could I do differently so I don't mess things up with Alex" and Alex is a kid she knows I hated so I simply replied with,"Make sure he doesn't get to know you too well."

12. MeMuzzta's was short yet cruel.

'We can't be friends either, sort your shit out'

13. And Azhorion was such a trooper willing to meet the parents!

Been kind of dating this girl for approximately 2-3 months and didn't exactly know where we were heading, but I thought we were getting into a ship called relation.

She then mentioned her parents were gone for the weekend and I was like "Great, thanks for the invitation" but she said: "Sorry, someone else is already coming over."

That one hurt.

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14. HONESTY IS NOT GOOD, from lewistronzo.

When my ex found somebody else, she went with the line "He has a better job and he's taller" ouch!! I don't know what his job was but I'm 6'2" so I'm only half offended, I'm happy at this height.

15. At least FreePork got to laugh. Ha. Ha.

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Single."

"Single who?"

"Single you."