Patriotic. Good with weapons. Mythic. Who could resist?

Valentine's Day is over, which means you no longer get to frame your single status as an act of defiance against the greeting card industry. So now you're just feeling plain old lonely and wondering why the hell no one's responding to your Christian Mingle profile. Well, have you considered trying Craigslist? Do you have a brother and are you both kind of hot? Have you considered posting photos of yourselves as centaurs? Have you not only seen Love Actually several times but are also willing to admit it publicly? Because these factors apparently all add up to you getting a shitload of dating opportunities.

Sources: Gawker | Craigslist | Reddit