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If you've been pushing for an all-phones version of the show Maury, where all the cheating drama happens over text, here's your pilot episode. A guy got a sexy text (often known as a sext) from his girlfriend, away on business in Atlanta. Luckily, this guy was already crazily suspicious, so he immediately started going insane.

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Because this man is extremely paranoid (and perhaps completely made up?) he immediately noticed a little detail in the bottom left corner. A suitcase. A smoking gun. A relationship-ending Chekhov's suitcase.

Of course, instead of saying "that's not your suitcase," he instead decided to call the hotel. Creepy and weird, but he did what he had to do, apparently.

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Really, these two are probably better off apart anyway. Oh wait, it's not over. The man is still ranting.

Anyway, yeah, this breakup is for the best. But there's nothing greater than a little cheating-sext drama to get you through the middle of the week.