We are all lying on our dating profiles, and for good reason. Our real selves are inherently unlovable and must be obscured at all costs, but what would our Tinder bios say if we were being completely honest? Here are the 15 best responses people shared on reddit about what that would look like.

1. NiceAndSoftNonErect is honest right down to his username.

Mine would probably say "If you see me naked you'll be surprised with the averageness of my wiener compared to how big I am. I make an okay amount of money and drive a Ford. I drink way too much beer and eat horribly. I'm the kinda guy you go for when you're in your late 20s to early 30s and all your girlfriends are already married and you finally decide 'eh he's good enough.' I will probably not live up to good enough though."


2. SquatyPotty is a true treasure to be around

I spend multiple hours per day doing absolutely nothing productive, then I get a spur of inspiration and become extremely productive for an hour or so. During that time, I hypocritically judge others around me for not being productive.

3. giverofnofucks has a bio so honest it would hurt, if we cared enough.

The same thing 90% of people on dating sites would say if they were being completely honest:

I'm doing this online dating thing because I'm kinda lonely, a little horny, but mostly ambivalent about dating. So chances are that unless you're really hot or just generally out of my league, I'll probably just flirt with you a little online then lose interest.


4. DemeaningSarcasm wants Netflix and Chili's.

I don't know how to split my time between relationships and hobbies. So uh, I kinda just want someone who chills out at my place on the weekends to watch netflix and wants to go out to eat with me.

5. TryingToBeMattTaibbi honestly adorable.

I'm a fantastic dresser, so you're bound to be disappointed when I take off my clothes.

6. CuntyMcFagNuts69 has a new take on an old classic.

Are you ready for an adventure? You should probably look elsewhere

7. And so does Streetsweepah.

"Likes short walks on the beach"


8. BenderDeLorean has the hangry truth.

Asshole when hungry

9. Did I already date you, BanDover?

"You will ask yourself, "Is there anything wrong with this guy?" during the first month, and the answer will be no. On the first day of the fifth week of our relationships, my emotional issues will come flooding out like a Haitian tsunami. Buckle up, lassy.

10. BuddhaMindTricks doesnt realize what he has.

I'm just tired of sleeping alone


11. Jabba_the_cat comes through with the desperation

Please date me.

12. tivofanatico doesn't care about the missed movie references.

I'm looking to date 7 to 10 years younger because I'm aging really well. You know, all the sleep from being single and childless.

13. WlTCH's profile could also double for your grandma's.

Cute but troubled, has issues communicating and will try to make up for everything by cooking. Cries constantly.

14. ​oishster says what that really good selfie can not.

I'm like a 5/10, but sometimes I'll put on makeup and become a 6, maybe 6.5/10. Also, your mother will LOVE me!

15. And finally, we have jbm222's honest profile.

I'm married. And straight. Really I'm just on grindr looking for a new hairstylist, but if you wanna grab a beer sometime that's cool too.

Sure, we believe you.