Ladies, have you been thinking about the upcoming solar eclipse and saying to yourself, "Gee, I wish I could find a random stranger to have sex and conceive a god-like sun baby with at the exact moment the sun passes behind the moon?" Well, my friends do I have great news for you!
A man in Oregon recently posted a bizarre Craigslist ad seeking a woman to conceive a child with him during the solar eclipse, and that's not even the weirdest part of the ad. According to A.V. Club, The original post has been taken down, but a pretty close replica of it has since made its way to the site's best-of list. Let's break it down.
Like any good personal ad, the man starts off by describing himself. "I'm 40 years of age, caucasian male from Europe," he writes. "My heritage is strong and pure."
"My looks, knowledge and strength is 100% pure and 100% lethal," he continues. WOW. No red flags there, right? Great! Let's move on.
He goes on to describe what exactly he's looking to get out of this relationship. "I am looking for a worthy female with strong genes, beauty, and smarts. To join me - to experience the totality eclipse in Oregon. Exact place not set."
But you won't just be watching the eclipse. "If we have chemistry, I would like for us to make love while the eclipse is happening."
Now, you may just be thinking that this is just a standard eclipse booty call (We've all been there, am I right, ladies?), but you would be wrong. Let's read on, shall we?
"When totality occurs, we will have simultaneous orgasms and we will conceive a child that will be on the next level of human evolution," he writes. "We will make love together with me and my penis directed toward the sun. Everything will be aligned in the local universe. Both of our cosmic orgasmic energy will be aligned with the planets In a brief moment of ecstasy, we will understand everything, and together, create a new universe. Full of love..."
Damn, setting the expectations a little high, aren't we? He does have a couple requirements for who he experiences this mind-blowing cosmic orgasm and subsequent sun-god child with, though.
"You must like cats. Drugs are OK. Nitrous Oxide while we climax and experience totality and conception, is OK with me."
I just really love that he specifies that you must like cats.