Writer Maggie Serota got a message on OKCupid from a guy who had done an enormous amount of work to find out more than she wanted to share.
You can read Serota's tweets below, in which she starts to parse out the unnerving message she received on her private OKCupid account from a very avid fan, who also seems to be saying they would never date anyway. Because of her taste in music. Not because he's an obsessed weirdo, that's fine!
There's a lot to read, but here's one of the best quotes from his first message:
"I've come across your tweets, Maggie, occasionally and tangentially, from conversations on basketball twitterdotcom. Happened again this morning, can't even remember where it originated now, but as other times I was more intrigued by your avi than your attempts, successful or not, at humor. Despite the huge sunglasses and the small phone screen. Typical shallow male, as I'm sure you're plenty used to. Anywho, this time it led me to take a look at your timeline, the intrigue now growing with your wit, eclectic retweets, sensibility and cats. Then the okc tweets were fun and poignant and eye opening - wow she's there/here? Too much intrigue, but how old is she and what does she look like behind those dark lenses? Googling was necessary and so easy."
Since Serota shared the letter, she's been getting a lot of hateful messages from folks who say she exposed this dude, though there was no identifying info in his messages. Even the guy himself wrote her to say it was her own fault that he cyber stalked her:
If it were me, though, and I'd wanted to keep my online dating profile anonymous and separate from my social media presence, a fully reasonable desire, I would not repeatedly talk about said profile on social media.
What does she say?
But that doesn't quite stop the flood of men in who think stalking is a compliment:
Nothing is private anymore! Especially your sexy dating profile/life. So do the smart thing: when you ask a person out on a date, pretend you've never Googled them.