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It's redditor BinanoSplat's birthday today (March 23), and he's going out to dinner with his girlfriend. That sounds like a nice intimate evening—except for the fact that BinanoSplat has publicly announced his intention to hand his girlfriend a card that basically says, "Screw you, I know you're cheating." Happy birthday, BinanoSplat!​ 

The Internet is now waiting with bated breath for updates on his dinner date, which is set for roughly 10 p.m. EST. He has promised a full debriefing after the dinner. Update: he blew it by telling everyone (see below).