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If there was ever a cautionary tale calling for good sex ed, it would have to be this guy's utter failure to understand how a woman's body works, and how it led him to a dark and farty place.

Yesterday, reddit user AskMeAboutMyTie posted his tale of youthful ignorance entitled, "Today I fucked up by not knowing what a queef was."

Here is the story in his own words:

This did not happen yesterday, but about 10 years ago when I was in my sexual prime. So at this time in my life, I had already had sex with a small handful of girls. Being only 18, I thought I was hot shit. My life consisted of throwing parties at my parents vacant mansion and sex. Every 18 year olds' dream right? Well at one of my parties a group of college girls showed up (I was still a senior in high school) and the hottest girl of the college group was giving me vibes that she wanted to get it on. One thing let to another and we head up stairs..

Everything started off normal, foreplay and what not, when I finally got her naked I spread her legs so I could go down on her (I like to be a gentlemen and please the girl first). As soon I get down to that region she lets out the smallest "toot". Confused, I looked back up at her and she is still in a moaning bliss waiting for me to start as nothing happened. "Did she just fart on me?" I thought to myself. She was still begging for it so I shrugged my shoulders and we got it on.

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Pretty lucky dude, having access to a mansion and getting the attention of college chicks.

But then, he takes advice from his really dumb friends.

Fast forward a week and we're now kind of "dating," still having sex at least twice a day like new couples do. And each time she would let out a small "toot." I liked her a lot and didn't want to freak her out by asking her about it, so I decided to go to my friends (bad idea). They proceed to tell me that she's known as being a "freak" in bed and I just need to along with it.

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So this is him "going along with it."

Ok here's when the actual fuck up happens... so that night we start fooling around and this time she wants to go down on me first. She's giving me the typical BJ when she goes down a little further for a little ball play... that's when I cock my legs up and release the biggest fart I could muster. I swear her hair flew back as if she had her face in front of a fan. She immediately stops what she's doing and looks back at me in disgust. I smiled with pride and said "that's all for you babe."

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No. No no no no no no no.

She locked herself in my bathroom and cried until she let me call one of her friends to come pick her up.

TL;DR: Didn't know what a queef was and thought my girlfriend was farting during sex as a fetish. I returned the "favor" by farting in her face when she was going down on me.

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Even if it wasn't a queef, who thinks one tiny fart is a sex fetish? Its almost impossible to believe anyone can be that stupid, but you have to give him credit for his willingness to please a woman in bed. And it did turn out well for him, because, according to his story, that victim of his massive fart ended up becoming his wife.