We can all agree that given his crimes, he's getting off relatively unscathed.

Sometimes, the only way to teach a misbehaving puppy, or a man who's asked you to marry him, is to rub his nose in it. Sure, the first few times you can say "oh, he's just a dumb animal, he doesn't know any better. He'll learn." But, then he doesn't learn, and suddenly he's getting bigger and more unruly with all those chocolate bars, and you've got to train him with tough love. Fortunately, by the time the relationship matures out of the puppy stage, he's well trained, doesn't make too much noise, and knows several tricks to entertain guests at parties.

Sources: Redditor BigTrenton